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Posts by englishholic
Name: Wismoyo Adinegoro
Joined: Mar 21, 2017
Last Post: Mar 24, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Indonesia
School: University of Indonesia

Displayed posts: 2
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englishholic   
Mar 21, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Is it useless to keep traditional skills and ways of life? [4]

Present a written argument or case to an educated reader with no specialist knowledge of the following topic.

When a country develops its technology, the traditional skills and ways of life die out. It is pointless to try and keep them alive.
To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?


You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence.

traditional habits in danger



The era of technology is now. Developed countries have utilized technology to the fullest and developing countries is transitioning from conventional systems to advanced ones. However, this brings bad impact to traditional values of life as they are abating. In my opinion, while there is a fall in interest and usage of traditional ideals, it is not useless to preserve those ways.

Technology has many advantages that can bring more. Firstly, both public and private companies start to switch from human workers to computers and robots as they know that with more efficiency, more profit is produced, and these machines are better than humans when it comes to this. Therefore, traditional methods are slowly vanishing from preferences of a company. Moreover, one of the purposes of technology is to make people life easier. For instances, children are more comfortable with video games as body movement is not needed, and businessman can receive instant messages through their handphone, unlike the past where messaging was done by sending letters which took a lot of time. As a result, conventional methods of life, such as traditional games and post lettering, are almost extinct due to technology.

Although it is evident that the old ways are disappearing from people's lifestyle, a country must preserve those style for various reasons. First and foremost, traditional habits present a country's identity and culture. The method of knitting only with hand and bamboo represents one of many traditions in Indonesia and gives so many traditional values to Indonesia. Tourism is also boosted as tourists are usually interested in such way of living. Moreover, traditional ways produce more togetherness, unlike technology which often causes more individualism.

In conclusion, although technology advancement gives quicker positive results than the traditional ways, it is a good idea for a country to keep these things balance by monitoring them.
englishholic   
Mar 24, 2017
Writing Feedback / IELTS Writing Task 2 - Is it useless to keep traditional skills and ways of life? [4]

Hi Okoye, thank you for your response. In most of my essays, I usually support the opinion in the second paragraph and oppose it in the third paragraph. But now I realize that my position is not clearly presented in this way, especially in this essay.

I will apply your suggestion in my next writings and maybe I will try to write my supporting opinion in second paragraph then discuss in third paragraph the cons of the opinion in but still provide reasons or examples or suggestions so that the effects of disadvantages could be mitigated.

Once again, thanks for your feedback.
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