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Posts by kris_2017
Name: Posman
Joined: May 18, 2017
Last Post: May 18, 2017
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Indonesia
School: Telkom Institute of Technology

Displayed posts: 3
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kris_2017   
May 18, 2017
Scholarship / University of Auckland Scholarship Essay_Skill and Knowledge gained from the study [3]

Hi everyone,
I would like to apply for scholarship in University of Auckland. Please give any comments on my response to the essay question. There is no spesific word/character counts limitation

Really appreciate your comment.

Describe specifically what skills and knowledge you want to gain from your study

possibilities arising from the studies at the university of Auckland



Studying Master in International Business enables me to acquire strong theoretical education, hands-on leadership, and practical experiences about managing organization in global context. The course will extent my understanding in international market, particularly in Asia. As a new emerging market, Asia become an attractive destination for foreign investment. However, specific national regulations may result a challenging barrier to enter the market. Hence, the knowledge of Asian business and economic environment will become a principal requirement for a business leader. In addition, I will have a chance to develop my skill in analyzing and developing resource-effective operation strategic for global organization. Finally, I would like to emphasize my learning and research on strategies for technology start-up companies to enter and survive in emerging market especially in Asia
kris_2017   
May 18, 2017
Scholarship / University of Auckland Scholarship Essay_Skill and Knowledge gained from the study [3]

Thank you @Mary Rose for the feedback.
I have revised the essay based on your comment. Please give any comment or feedback to develop my essay.

Studying Master in International Business enables me to acquire strong theoretical education, hands-on leadership, and practical experiences about managing organization in global context. The program offers the Competing in Asia course which will extent my understanding in Asian business and economic environment. The course will give me knowledge about specific national regulation of some Asian countries. It is also equip me with ability to identify opportunities and challenges resulted from the regulation. Then, I will have a chance to develop my skill in analyzing and developing resource-effective operation strategic to produce products and services for global organization through the Global Operation Management course. In addition, I will have valuable experience to apply my knowledge in real business situation through the Consultation Project with a company or organization offered by the program. Finally I would like to specialize my study in strategic management. I would like to emphasize my study on developing corporate strategy to compete in emerging market.

Tks,
kris_2017   
May 18, 2017
Writing Feedback / Must the free time of kids be always educational? [3]

Hi,
It's a great response. I hope my comment will assist you in writing the response.

First and most importantly, the lack of interest by parents ...

I think the main idea of the paragraph is not match with the entire paragraph. You should focus on how children free time activities can result negative outcome as you mentioned not the lack of interest from their parents.

Furthermore, in my opinion, there ......

... people can question my this idea......

--> you can use either "this" or "my"

that creating childish programs

I think that is not an appropriate term. You can write "children programs/activities"

Hope you find this helpful!!
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