Undergraduate / A convert to Mormonism interested in autism research at Caltech? That's me. (undergrad app essays) [2]

In an increasingly global and interdependent society, there is a need for diversity in thought, background, and experience in science, technology, engineering and mathematics. How do you see yourself contributing to the diversity of Caltech's community? (200 words max)

my journey in faith

At 15, I became the sole Mormon in my family.
Before then, I was the outspoken agnostic atheist in a family of loose non-denominational Easter-and-Christmas Christians. It just made sense: truth is determined through empirical evidence. Surely if any god or scripture had enough of that, we'd know by now, I figured.

But when the missionaries came over and preached their words of light and love for mankind, I felt something new. A powerful feeling of warmth and certainty filled me. THAT was the evidence!

Now that I've been baptized, I clearly distinguish between truths of the world and truths beyond. The former, I know through empirical data; the latter, personal revelation. My favorite scripture says to "seek learning, even by study and also by faith," acknowledging that these are indeed separate.

But my journey in faith has helped me immensely in my earthly pursuits as well. I tear up every time my peers and teachers at school tell me I've become such a pleasure to know, so smiley and helpful. I know it's because of my Church. At Caltech, as anywhere, I will continue to serve and share smiles.

My thoughts: I felt great writing this from the heart, but I feel like I might have skimped on opportunities to share specifics about what I've done in the Church, and the ending feels weak. It's really grazing the edge of the word count, though, so I'll need to cut some. Suggestions about what to cut/add?