xcapedadinosaur
Sep 4, 2009
Undergraduate / What appeals the most to you about our school - My admission essay [8]
English is not my first language so please correct my mistakes.I think i have too many run on sentences and other common mistakes
This is my admission essay to a high school in USA. "What appeals the most to you about our school ? "
Compelling myself to be able to get into a school in America has passionately been my lifelong dream and finding which school that best fits me among more than 200 boarding schools in the United States seems to be really difficult. There are moments that I'm tired of clicking a whole lot of websites and read all the boring given information. However, surprisingly, when I went to P's school website, by the time I clicked " Explore P ", I knew that I no longer had to wander around to seek for things that I need because they are all displayed there, with real people and real examples.
Unlike other schools' website, I strongly feel enthusiastic to learn more about P. I suddenly feel like as if they are all real life people talking to me and show me the way , not just like those sites which are full of words and statistics. These people in all the videos has made me realize one different thing that other schools' websites don't have : P students are not just wrapped up in their own P's community but more than that, they are concerned with the world around them and ready to challenge themselves to face risks and find possible solutions to deal with them in the best ways.
I have never had such a strong and wonderful inner sense about the warm, diverse, elite and interacted environment of P than ever before.
I have enthusiastically watched all the first video till the last one in the "Explore P" section and I believe that not only will P bring its faculty and students the opportunity that may last a lifetime but P become a force for good, challenging and engaging experience that each and every person are well prepared to take as well.
The Arts, Academics and Athletes are spectacularly amazing and It truly seems that P school's dedication to all these are beyond wonderful. Since my school doesn't have any classes that are related to art, I honestly think that P can provide places where I can shine by my own talents and pursuits.
Consequently, as I turned off my old computer to get to my own school's work, there is no doubt in my mind and my soul that P is clearly a place that I can stabilize my knowledge, empower my wings, and make them strong enough to fly high with my passions and ambitions.
P school's website has done a great job to make new students like me has such a good and amazing impressions on its school and its abilities to awaken the potentials and help the students discover their own powerful voices that somehow I totally forgot that I do have one.
(*) P: is a name of a high school
English is not my first language so please correct my mistakes.I think i have too many run on sentences and other common mistakes
This is my admission essay to a high school in USA. "What appeals the most to you about our school ? "
Compelling myself to be able to get into a school in America has passionately been my lifelong dream and finding which school that best fits me among more than 200 boarding schools in the United States seems to be really difficult. There are moments that I'm tired of clicking a whole lot of websites and read all the boring given information. However, surprisingly, when I went to P's school website, by the time I clicked " Explore P ", I knew that I no longer had to wander around to seek for things that I need because they are all displayed there, with real people and real examples.
Unlike other schools' website, I strongly feel enthusiastic to learn more about P. I suddenly feel like as if they are all real life people talking to me and show me the way , not just like those sites which are full of words and statistics. These people in all the videos has made me realize one different thing that other schools' websites don't have : P students are not just wrapped up in their own P's community but more than that, they are concerned with the world around them and ready to challenge themselves to face risks and find possible solutions to deal with them in the best ways.
I have never had such a strong and wonderful inner sense about the warm, diverse, elite and interacted environment of P than ever before.
I have enthusiastically watched all the first video till the last one in the "Explore P" section and I believe that not only will P bring its faculty and students the opportunity that may last a lifetime but P become a force for good, challenging and engaging experience that each and every person are well prepared to take as well.
The Arts, Academics and Athletes are spectacularly amazing and It truly seems that P school's dedication to all these are beyond wonderful. Since my school doesn't have any classes that are related to art, I honestly think that P can provide places where I can shine by my own talents and pursuits.
Consequently, as I turned off my old computer to get to my own school's work, there is no doubt in my mind and my soul that P is clearly a place that I can stabilize my knowledge, empower my wings, and make them strong enough to fly high with my passions and ambitions.
P school's website has done a great job to make new students like me has such a good and amazing impressions on its school and its abilities to awaken the potentials and help the students discover their own powerful voices that somehow I totally forgot that I do have one.
(*) P: is a name of a high school