Noga123
Dec 17, 2017
Writing Feedback / It's an essay about leadership summit. What makes my presence there imperative? [2]
Help me in the grammar and overall style. It's a leadership summit.
For many decade the women have suffered from injustice, Enslavement, and marginalization. But at the same time if we looked at the history we will find agreat women changed the world and the future of the women. They fought against their community wrong beliefs about the woman by sacrifice their lives to prove to the humanity that they equal to the men. Charlotte Bronte one said " I am no bird; and no net ensnare me: I am a free human being with an independent will". There for achieving this goals of those women is not an option for me. The truth that we all believe in is death, but there is another truth we should belive in which is we all just human whatever is our gender. When I volunteered in the last summer in a campaign called HEA in ( country ). Our main goal is to raise the awareness of teenage girls about the disadvantages of early marriage. The people in ( country) beliefs that when the girl reaches puberty, she must get married and live as a servant to her husband for the rest of her life. I felt so sad when I found that there were not any girls' school in entire villages. So we went to many houses, family health care centers and market places to just speak to those girls and tell them about the life they deserve not the life that imposed on them by their community false beliefs. Positively, a few girls interacted with us by asking questions or discussing some ideas. From this experience pushed me to expand my horizon of knowing new things bigger than my life. Communicating with those people have taught me how to see the world from different perspectives. There for attending this conference will motivate me to continuo work towards my vision of living in an equal world. It will allow me to share my beliefs and my thoughts with other girls to help each other to creat a better future for all of us.
Help me in the grammar and overall style. It's a leadership summit.
Why you want to attend the leadership summit?
For many decade the women have suffered from injustice, Enslavement, and marginalization. But at the same time if we looked at the history we will find agreat women changed the world and the future of the women. They fought against their community wrong beliefs about the woman by sacrifice their lives to prove to the humanity that they equal to the men. Charlotte Bronte one said " I am no bird; and no net ensnare me: I am a free human being with an independent will". There for achieving this goals of those women is not an option for me. The truth that we all believe in is death, but there is another truth we should belive in which is we all just human whatever is our gender. When I volunteered in the last summer in a campaign called HEA in ( country ). Our main goal is to raise the awareness of teenage girls about the disadvantages of early marriage. The people in ( country) beliefs that when the girl reaches puberty, she must get married and live as a servant to her husband for the rest of her life. I felt so sad when I found that there were not any girls' school in entire villages. So we went to many houses, family health care centers and market places to just speak to those girls and tell them about the life they deserve not the life that imposed on them by their community false beliefs. Positively, a few girls interacted with us by asking questions or discussing some ideas. From this experience pushed me to expand my horizon of knowing new things bigger than my life. Communicating with those people have taught me how to see the world from different perspectives. There for attending this conference will motivate me to continuo work towards my vision of living in an equal world. It will allow me to share my beliefs and my thoughts with other girls to help each other to creat a better future for all of us.
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