Unanswered [2] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by simonma668
Joined: Sep 10, 2009
Last Post: Nov 6, 2009
Threads: 2
Posts: 5  
From: United States of America

Displayed posts: 7
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
simonma668   
Oct 27, 2009
Undergraduate / "My Talent" For UC PS Prompt #2 (transfer student) [3]

my major is computer science..plz help me to correct my grammer..or anything..
any suggestion is welcomed..
btw, i am a international student.

Usually, a computer worker is stereotyped as a geek who wearing thick glasses and being a mouse potato. However, I am a different computer scientist. Instead of being an otaku, which means a person who prefers staying at home in Japanese, I have been grown up with sports.

When I was still in the elementary school, I started to play basketball because of my father, who had been a professional basketball coach. Different from other students, my basketball skill has been incredibly improved thanks to my father, and I was able to play as a guard when I had the physical quality of center. Due to this early advantage, I had been selected as the school basketball from elementary school to high school in China. On 2004, I led my high school to win the champion in a citywide basketball tournament as a 10th grade student in China.

Besides of basketball, I present my talent on swimming in early age. When I was in 8th grade, I participated in a citywide swimming competition for my middle school, and won the 3rd in the men's 100 meters breaststroke as well as the 5th in 4x100 meter medley relay. In the next year, I took part in the same swimming competition as a 9th grade student, and finally won the 1st in the men's 50 meters breaststroke and 2nd in men's 100 meters breaststroke. After that, I won 2 more 1st prizes and 2 2nd prizes in different citywide swimming competition as a high school student before I came to the United States in 2005.

More than simply programming in front of the computer all day long, I learn how to be persistent to handle all kinds of problems by doing sports. Swimming and playing basketball needs to consume a lot of energy which can make me tired. However, if I give up as soon as I feel tired, I will be the loser, and everything I have done is wasted. So, "enduring the suffering and doing my best until the end" is always in my mind. Similar to doing sports, I, as a student, must face many problems, including programming problems every day. So it is impossible for me to finish a huge program if I give up as soon as encountering obstructions. Thanks to the sports, I am able to overcome all difficulties by my will power.

thank you all!!!
simonma668   
Nov 5, 2009
Undergraduate / Love of Programming and UCs [4]

well..just like Kerfuffin said, i think u should focus on "what i have done for this major" instead of "why..."

also, i think this may be a little short?? so why dont u just add something more, and using this one as the intro??

anyway,its all my personal suggestion...
simonma668   
Nov 5, 2009
Undergraduate / "Grandfather"--UC Personal Statement #2 [4]

Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this accomplishment makes you proud and how does it relate to the person you are?

any help is appreciated..thx...
also, any knows if i have to give a title for each UC personal statement prompet??


I, as the only child in my family, had been doted by both grandparents and parents since I was born. When I was 12, I knew that my grandfather had advanced prostate cancer, which was impossible to be cured. But nothing changed after he knew his illness; my grandfather still drove me to the school every morning, and bought me food after class. At that time, I did not realize that he was actually getting weaker.

5 years later, my grandfather survived miraculously, and it surprised both us and the doctor. Consequently, we tried to avoid the fact that my grandfather was so weak because of the fighting against cancer. Everything seemed to be back on the track, so I decided to come to the United States for attending high school. My parents wanted me to be an independent person, so they supported me as soon as they knew my plan. My grandfather did not say anything at first; I knew that he wanted me to stay with him at the end of his life. However, he changed his mind, and encouraged me to study in San Francisco. Without any regret, I came here, and adapted to the new life easily. When I was struggling with excessive homework, my parents told me that my grandfather was getting more serious; in other words, my grandfather is dying. "Going back or staying?" my mind was totally occupied by this question. Of course, went back and saw him for the last time was a responsible for grandson; however, dropped school for such a long time was not appropriate for an international student. Eventually, my grandfather talked to me, and told me not to go back. So, my parents and I followed his idea, and he passed away soon after that.

In the past, I did not realize the importance of my grandfather; but I fell into deep regret after losing him. My mind seemed to be emptied, and refilled with pain. No tear, no sob, I was just so sad that even tear could not express my emotion.

After my grandfather's death, I know that we should treasure everything we have so far. Leading by this idea, I become a person who knows thanksgiving to others. I know the people who love me are supporting me, and I also know the people who hate me are also alerting me.

So gratitude becomes a part of my personality.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳