Posts by SSAGitz

SSAGitz

Mar 4, 2018

Scholarship / Being at crossroads in the journey of life. My "Personal Statement" for Government Scholarship [6]

Hi @Shinbi Jung13

Honestly, your essay is too confusing.
When I read the first para, I don't get what the main reason you apply for the certain program.
Please be aware that there are so many essays that must be reviewed by the reviewer. So, you have to attract them from the first para.

Just try to answer each question without being too flowery.

For instance :
- Motivations with which you apply for this program
>> I decided to apply for program xxx due to xxx

- Your education and work experience in relation to the KGSP
>> During my professional experience, I have xxxx so that it has connection with program that I applied.

- Reason for studying in Korea
>> In order to achieve my future goal, I believe Korea is the best option due to xxx

- Any other aspects of your background and interests which may help us evaluate your aptitude and passion for graduate study or research
>> I have won Makazi Province General Governors

You may elaborate more according to your own story.

Gud luck.

SSAGitz

Mar 4, 2018

Scholarship / KGSP Personal Statement - opportunity to delve deeper into Korean studies [3]

Hi @agermanguy,

I think your essay would be better if you start to answer in straight to the point for each question.
For example questions no. 1. Your motivation with which you apply to this program, you can answer by explaining that you decided to take program xxx due to xxx.

I think it would make the reader more clear with your study purpose instead of starting with a quote, since it is a statement of purpose not a cover of novel.

Also, you may self review your essay and put your self in the reader position. Consider that they only have limited time to review many essay from many candidates. So, be more efficient and address each questions directly.

Gud luck :).

SSAGitz

Mar 4, 2018

Graduate / Describing myself as a decent candidate for MSc in Artificial Intelligence [3]

Hi @neb,

I interest with your first para. However, it started to make me feel exhausted when read your second para and next.
My suggestion, you can move your forth para "Firstly, Artificial Intelligence is deeply influenced by several disciplines...." to become your second para.
I think it's better since it is explaining the reason why you decided to take Msc. Artificial Intelligence.

Try to put your main reason in the beginning para and the other as the supporting. So it will make the reader still on mood when reviewing your essay.

Gud luck!

SSAGitz

Mar 5, 2018

Scholarship / Why you apply for Msc in Business Administration, specialization Small Business & Entrepreneurship? [2]

Hi everyone,

For your kind review, please.

Best,
SSA

The statement should be typewritten and composed only by the applicant him/herself. Please address the following points:
·The reason why you apply for the chosen program
·What do you intend to do with your Master degree?
·And, in general, what makes you the best candidate for this scholarship
(Max. 500 words)

Stuned Scholarship entry essay

For master education, I decided to take Msc in Business Administration, specialization Small Business & Entrepreneurship in University of Groningen. I believe the subject can support to achieve my future goal for being a success entrepreneur in Indonesia.

The main reason why I want to be an entrepreneur and establish a business is because being an employee is not forever since refer to Labor Law in Indonesia, retirement age is set in 56 years old. Thus, it means that we have to work independently to fulfill our needs after age 56. On the other hand, running a business and ensure its sustainability is not an easy matter. We must have fundamental knowledge and skill on how to experiment an innovative idea, how to search funding for start-up ventures, and how to sell and market new products or services. Therefore, in order to produce those kind of skills, formal education is needed as the foundation to build creativity and innovation which were the main drive for entrepreneurship.

Secondly, my education and professional background in accounting and auditing field is inline with my future goal. I have experienced in examining business flow such as manufacturing, trading, and non profit Entities, so that it will be a usefull skill to be used to formulate my own business. Furthermore to keep myself still on track in entrepreneurship career, I actively joined in entrepreneur workshops and groups, such as Scale-Up Asia and Forbes Indonesia. Previously, I also have experienced in running a small business with five people by selling flannel pencil case. It has successfully running for a year, however it must be stopped since we decided to focus in our main job.

After graduate from Master degree, I will apply the knowledge to run my own business. There are some alternative types of products and services that I plan to focus so far, they are Batik, Indonesian tea and coffee, and online teaching of Indonesian language for tourist. I select those products in order to make foreign people more familiar with Indonesia.

Based on learning from previous experience, I do not want the business will only run for a year. I want it will have a good going concern. Therefore, It is important for me to learn how entrepreneurial firms compete for customers in national and international markets, how to formulate strategies, and how to manage the activities and operations to grow into successful and profitable business. According to that reason, I strongly hope to receive Stuned scholarship and get opportunity to study entrepreneurship in overseas.

I realize that there are many potential people applying for Stuned scholarship. However, there might be a few who have desire to be employer instead of employee. By giving scholarship to me, Stuned will have a great return on investment since by creating a new entrepreneur, Stuned has contributed to address unemployment in the long run.

Finally, I also hope by receiving the scholarship, I would contribute more not only for my country, Indonesia, but also as the ambassador for Stuned Scholarship and the Netherland education.