classfyed
Sep 28, 2009
Undergraduate / Common App essay for UVA, criticism appreciated! [4]
I've already cut a lot out of this essay because I know it's long, but I'm looking to cut out a bit more. I chose this topic because I want to study cultural anthropology. If you have any advice on what to shorten, or any advice at all, please help!
word count: 980!
With the creak of a door, I met a world so filled with culture that I would never again be the same. The smell of Korean food seeped into my nostrils as that door swung open, an aroma that is now familiar. This is the strongest and most vivid memory I have of first entering the house. The next was the style of the house - open kitchen, open living room, open steps. Each wall is filled with pictures, all of the family or family friends. There are wall hangings with Korean characters and Bible verses, rugs, and jewelry. The stove is cluttered. The rice cooker is always on. It was, at first, a place so different that the indifferent and unsuspecting me could not understand.
My own home and family - how did it compare? The news on our television is in English. Our kitchen is filled with American branded food. The stovetop sparkles. The rooms are mostly separated. The house smells like Glade. There are few pictures around the house; they're of scenery with colors that match the walls. Is this considered culture? I'm not even sure how my family got here. When I first entered that house, when I spent the night there again and again, when I became so used to the house that it became a second home where I bowed to her parents, my elders, I had none of these thoughts.
Three years ago, I was invited to ch
I've already cut a lot out of this essay because I know it's long, but I'm looking to cut out a bit more. I chose this topic because I want to study cultural anthropology. If you have any advice on what to shorten, or any advice at all, please help!
word count: 980!
With the creak of a door, I met a world so filled with culture that I would never again be the same. The smell of Korean food seeped into my nostrils as that door swung open, an aroma that is now familiar. This is the strongest and most vivid memory I have of first entering the house. The next was the style of the house - open kitchen, open living room, open steps. Each wall is filled with pictures, all of the family or family friends. There are wall hangings with Korean characters and Bible verses, rugs, and jewelry. The stove is cluttered. The rice cooker is always on. It was, at first, a place so different that the indifferent and unsuspecting me could not understand.
My own home and family - how did it compare? The news on our television is in English. Our kitchen is filled with American branded food. The stovetop sparkles. The rooms are mostly separated. The house smells like Glade. There are few pictures around the house; they're of scenery with colors that match the walls. Is this considered culture? I'm not even sure how my family got here. When I first entered that house, when I spent the night there again and again, when I became so used to the house that it became a second home where I bowed to her parents, my elders, I had none of these thoughts.
Three years ago, I was invited to ch