Salsabeel
Aug 27, 2018
Writing Feedback / Frog & Mouse - I wrote a story and I need to be checked [2]
There was a frog who used to live in a beautiful pond. He was proud of his graceful movements and he loved jumping on the leaves, which were floating on the water. The frog was always being watched by a mouse who enjoyed observing his high jumps.
The mouse wanted to become the frog's friend. Therefore, he waited for him to hop out of his pond to talk about it. As soon as the frog jumped out of the pond, the mouse asked him to be friends and he liked the idea and agreed right away. The mouse offered his support to the frog and expressed his willingness to do anything for him.
The mouse asked the frog if he would like to eat wheat. "Yes, that would be great" the frog replayed. "I know a place which is full of wheat, let's go" the mouse said. They entered into a hole which led them to a big place where there are huge amounts of wheat. The frog liked the taste of wheat and he kept eating until he felt that his stomach would explode.
The frog said "we will be friends forever if you fed me everyday". The mouse gladly agreed and they decided to tie their legs with a string as a symbol of friendship.
While they were playing, a squirrel saw them. As he approached them, he was surprised at their reckless action, how a frog and a mouse would always stay together with this string tied around their feet! The squirrel tried to explain to them that they have different natures and what they have done would put their lives in danger but they didn't listen to him.
They went to the pond and the frog asked the mouse to dive into water but the mouse told him that he had never been in water before. The frog encouraged him to give it a try, just as he did with eating the wheat.
The mouse was terrified of water, but the frog assured him that he will help him to become a good diver. As an attempt to teach the mouse, the frog dived deep into the pond, and didn't notice that he was dragging the hapless mouse behind him. the mouse tried to free himself but couldn't, and soon drowned.
When the squirrel arrived at the pond, he saw the mouse floating on its surface. He told the frog about the mistake he had made with his friend. The frog felt guilty because he did not respect his friend's nature.
the story about a frog and a mouse
There was a frog who used to live in a beautiful pond. He was proud of his graceful movements and he loved jumping on the leaves, which were floating on the water. The frog was always being watched by a mouse who enjoyed observing his high jumps.
The mouse wanted to become the frog's friend. Therefore, he waited for him to hop out of his pond to talk about it. As soon as the frog jumped out of the pond, the mouse asked him to be friends and he liked the idea and agreed right away. The mouse offered his support to the frog and expressed his willingness to do anything for him.
The mouse asked the frog if he would like to eat wheat. "Yes, that would be great" the frog replayed. "I know a place which is full of wheat, let's go" the mouse said. They entered into a hole which led them to a big place where there are huge amounts of wheat. The frog liked the taste of wheat and he kept eating until he felt that his stomach would explode.
The frog said "we will be friends forever if you fed me everyday". The mouse gladly agreed and they decided to tie their legs with a string as a symbol of friendship.
While they were playing, a squirrel saw them. As he approached them, he was surprised at their reckless action, how a frog and a mouse would always stay together with this string tied around their feet! The squirrel tried to explain to them that they have different natures and what they have done would put their lives in danger but they didn't listen to him.
They went to the pond and the frog asked the mouse to dive into water but the mouse told him that he had never been in water before. The frog encouraged him to give it a try, just as he did with eating the wheat.
The mouse was terrified of water, but the frog assured him that he will help him to become a good diver. As an attempt to teach the mouse, the frog dived deep into the pond, and didn't notice that he was dragging the hapless mouse behind him. the mouse tried to free himself but couldn't, and soon drowned.
When the squirrel arrived at the pond, he saw the mouse floating on its surface. He told the frog about the mistake he had made with his friend. The frog felt guilty because he did not respect his friend's nature.