ccchang
Nov 21, 2018
Writing Feedback / More high school students have parttime jobs while parents are not able to support all their needs [3]
This is my Ielts writing essay, thank you so much for your feedback.
Question: These days more high school students have parttime jobs while parents are not able to support all their needs. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive change or a negative change?
It is true that high school students are increasingly likely to have part-time jobs while more parents than ever are suffering in debts after 2008 international financial crises that cause them cannot provide better physical support to their children. There could be several reasons for students to motivate themselves to be more dependent in financial, and I consider it to be a very positive trend.
In recent years, high school students have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. Especially, technology developments have made great progress, and it has become very normal for every student to have many high tech gadgets for them to use as communication tools with their friends. It has also become a great burden for parents to fulfil their children's needs for those products which are seen as essentials for a younger generation. At the same time, the frequency of new technology products launching is very often which means students who have a strong desire to electronic gadgets need to rely on their own instead of asking from their parents. Therefore, besides supporting children's basic needs such as tuition and living costs, parents should not be put under more pressure to sacrifice their time or energy in order to provide more money to their children.
In my view, the demands of students described above should be seen as natural wanting for human. We should be happy to see high school students have become more independent and make effort on their own to gain what they want. As parents are already carried huge pressure to maintain and operate a family, equally, it seems only fair that high school students should be able to share more burden for their family members or for themselves. Therefore, the students should be left to make their own decisions about what kind of school life they want to have, according to their particular circumstances and needs.
In conclusion, having part-time jobs has become very common situation in high schools as a result of wider changes in society, and I believe these changes will benefit to the students and parents.
This is my Ielts writing essay, thank you so much for your feedback.
part-time jobs are popular among students
Question: These days more high school students have parttime jobs while parents are not able to support all their needs. What could be the reasons for this? Do you think it is a positive change or a negative change?
It is true that high school students are increasingly likely to have part-time jobs while more parents than ever are suffering in debts after 2008 international financial crises that cause them cannot provide better physical support to their children. There could be several reasons for students to motivate themselves to be more dependent in financial, and I consider it to be a very positive trend.
In recent years, high school students have had to adapt to various changes in our societies. Especially, technology developments have made great progress, and it has become very normal for every student to have many high tech gadgets for them to use as communication tools with their friends. It has also become a great burden for parents to fulfil their children's needs for those products which are seen as essentials for a younger generation. At the same time, the frequency of new technology products launching is very often which means students who have a strong desire to electronic gadgets need to rely on their own instead of asking from their parents. Therefore, besides supporting children's basic needs such as tuition and living costs, parents should not be put under more pressure to sacrifice their time or energy in order to provide more money to their children.
In my view, the demands of students described above should be seen as natural wanting for human. We should be happy to see high school students have become more independent and make effort on their own to gain what they want. As parents are already carried huge pressure to maintain and operate a family, equally, it seems only fair that high school students should be able to share more burden for their family members or for themselves. Therefore, the students should be left to make their own decisions about what kind of school life they want to have, according to their particular circumstances and needs.
In conclusion, having part-time jobs has become very common situation in high schools as a result of wider changes in society, and I believe these changes will benefit to the students and parents.