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Posts by gviiivayh
Name: Angyang
Joined: Feb 15, 2019
Last Post: Apr 22, 2019
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: China
School: BISU

Displayed posts: 2
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gviiivayh   
Feb 15, 2019
Writing Feedback / Advantages and disadvantages when comparing pubic transport with private cars. [3]

There are advantages and disadvantages when comparing pubic transport with private cars. Discuss the reasons that motivate suggestions for change. Also analyse some of the solutions.

"The more democratic the process, the more public transport is favoured"



By comparison with private cars, public transport seems to have quite a lot advantages. First and foremost, public transport is much more efficient than cars(Author, 2015). After having introduced free public transport to its citizens, Dunkirk is undergoing a revolution(Willsher, 2018). According to Willsher(as cited in Pointart, 2018), she is saving money and buses come every 10 minutes so she does not have to wait long. As stated by Newman(2005), the auto-dependent city model is not only inefficient in economic, but also in environmental terms. Secondly, inflated car fuel made people want to find alternatives. Contamin(as cited in Willsher, 2018) said that he almost never took the bus. But free public transport has given their the opportunity. Before the bus was for those who had no choice: the young, the old, the poor who don't have cars. Now it's for everyone.(Vergriete, as cited in Willsher,2018).Last but not least, people can talk to each other on their commute(Willsher,2018). According to Willsher(2018), someone admits she sometimes takes the bus "just for the fun of it". Additionally, it is impossible to talk with somebody if a person is commuting alone. The odds are that you'll be able to interact with lots of people from different cultures if you use public transport as opposed to travelling private.

As stated by Newman (2005), "The more democratic the process, the more public transport is favoured." Take Portland, a referendum was held on whether to spend money on the light rail road, eventually the rail proposal won and the railway worked spectacularly well. In the years that have followed, more and more rail systems have been put in, dramatically changing the nature of the city. Besides, the free public policy, it may not work in every city, according to Faucher(2018), some people have taken free buses for granted, it seems to have no value at all. But it is good for the environment, it is a social measure, a gesture of "solidarity" and promotes a more egalitarian redistribution of wealth than tax cuts.(Vergriete, as cited in Willsher,2018) Having said that, the contribution of free public transport policy should not be underestimated. It promotes local city tourism whilst satisfying citizens' needs. For instance, people do not need to spending time on buying tickets and they can even charging their mobile on a bus.(Willsher,2018). Environmentalist and urban planners have it that public transport helps cities reduce traffic congestion and the overall level of pollution. This means that if you use public transport, you will be reducing congestion as well as pollution within and around your city. Why not contribute to making your city a better place by using public transport.
gviiivayh   
Apr 22, 2019
Writing Feedback / If you had the power to change anything in your country, what would you most like to change and why? [4]

In the first place, loads of informal language, perhaps this kind of register can be used in TOEIC writing, but, it is still rather informal, contractions, uncapitalised 'I' and so on.

Some of your sentences are really unnecessary, for instance, people tend to use their personal vehicles which are cars and motorbikes for convenient commuting. , I mean, everybody knows what public transport is and what private cars are, you don't really need to elaborate on that imo.

Also, you need to improve your overall cohesion and consistency.

Regards,
Angyang
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