Undergraduate / The Ten-Digit Number - Common App Essay [3]

I just keep revising this bad boy, but I know there's more than can be done. I really enjoy my opening paragraph but I feel like the rest is a bit weak... maybe that's just because I've read it a million times? And comments are appreciated.

Prompt: Evaluate a significant experience and its affect on you...

The ten digit number taunted me from its place on the square of adhesive paper as I tried to arrange the spiraling thoughts inside my head. I sat nervously at my desk, a small blue post-it in one hand, my home telephone in the other, and an entire message typed out meticulously on my computer. The palms of my hands became increasingly clammy and my grip on the phone seemed to loosen with time. I never imagined that something as mundane as a telephone call would leave me anxious, yet there I was, writing out an entire manuscript for a two minute conversation. I was determined to find the perfect note of both clarity and, more importantly, speed. My mile-a-minute dialogue would have to be played in slow motion if the recipient of the message was to understand me. How exactly was I going to converse with someone who had little knowledge of the English language?

Thankfully, my first ESL student, a shy yet sweet Korean mother, knew enough English to arrange a time and place for our first meeting. Anxiously, I awaited her arrival at the library while people around me browsed through the shelves of weathered books or played illegal games of Tetris on the computers. I sat at a vacant table and attempted to look open and friendly, and I watched as three other women who matched the description of my student walked in. Each woman seemed to have a direct objective and I knew instantly they were not prospective ESL student. When a hesitant woman entered the library, craning her neck to get a better view of the room, I gave her an exaggerated wave and an encouraging smile.

"Hi, I'm You-Jin." She said, shaking my hand. "Are you Katherine?" I did all I could to hide my sheer enthusiasm. Yes, she spoke with a thick accent that made her difficult to understand, but it was clear she knew some English! I had an innate fear that I would have to resort to hand gestures and pictures to get my point across, but those worries quickly vanished as we began to communicate. In our first lesson, I realized that she would be writing short compositions rather than labeling pictures of fruits. Although her sentences were choppy and she seemed to know only one verb form, I couldn't help but be amazed by her determination.

After the first stressful yet exciting lesson, I realized the importance of mastering the language of the country in which you live. As my students shared their experiences with me, it dawned on me how hard it truly was for them. It's impossible to read a bus map, communicate with a child's school teacher, or explain a sudden rush of acceleration to a police officer without a firm grasp of the native language. Being a tutor spawns a unique form of satisfaction in that I am able to interact with people and see direct results of my efforts. The outcome of the lessons may be intangible, but the change in self-confidence I see in the students is unmistakable. When my first student announced she was moving back to Korea, I knew she was leaving with the ability to successfully communicate and, yes, even use the telephone with confidence. She was replaced, however, with a pang of fear that lodged itself within me. I knew that a nerve-wracking phone call to a new student sat dauntingly in my future.

Undergraduate / World of Difference- CommonApp 150 Words [3]

Any glaring grammatical mistakes? This one was pretty easy to write, but difficult to get down to 150 words!!

"We're kicking off the 300 lb man because he'd sink the boat" said the confidant yet naive sixth grader, nodding his head decidedly. I tried not to let a chuckle escape from my lip as my peers bit their tongues to prevent laughter from spreading like an unstoppable heat wave. Granted, we trapped the students into making stereotypical judgments, but I never expected anything this outrageous. "World of Difference", to the average ear, doesn't sound like a meaningful club. However, our presentations in middle schools are always shocking. We introduce a cast of 13 characters representing various cultural, religious, and physical stereotypes. The students are told to save ten people for a new society; three must perish. During the conclusion, we break down the misconceptions and casually state that the "athlete" is a ping-pong player, the "McDonald's employee" is a corporate executive, and no, a "hijab" is not a weapon.

-I really feel like I need a concluding statement... damn these word limits!

Undergraduate / Selected Major: Communication; Cornell CALS Supplement Essay [4]

Promt: How have your interests and related experiences influenced your selection of major?

Selected Major: Communication

I have never known how to respond eloquently when asked to name my favorite subject, and I usually end up mumbling something inaudible about lunchtime. The truth is that bits and pieces of each subject appeal to me in different ways. I don't lean heavily towards math and science or the liberal arts. Rather, I am like a balanced scale or a symmetrical bell curve, capable of thriving in multiple subjects. I like the concrete, black and white elements of mathematics, but there is something fascinating about arranging words to create a perfectly constructed sentence.

Until I came across Cornell's Communication Program, I oscillated frequently between different majors. Like the aforementioned "favorite subject", multiple topics appealed to me, and I knew that my college studies would reflect my developing interests. Through elective courses in high school, I dabbled in the worlds of Photoshop and Commercial Art. My Marketing course showed me the unique combination of economics and psychology, and my current AP Statistics class continues to surprise me with its applicability in multiple fields of study. The course which has had the most impact on me, however, was CS1305: "Computation and Culture in the Digital Age" at Cornell University Summer College. During those three weeks in Upson Hall, I was exposed to the diversity and importance of digital communication. Through the study of technology and its relationship with society, I became aware of the impact of new technologies on accepted customs and behaviors. A memorable lesson was the debate over teleological or social determinism, which essentially asks the age-old "chicken or egg" question in regards to technology. One case supports the view that society and its culture are shaped by new advances in technology, while the other argues that technology is heavily influenced by social norms. What struck me about digital communication was its dynamic nature and universal presence.

Cornell's Communication program, to me, is the ideal combination between traditional courses and contemporary fields of study. Unlike Communication majors at other colleges, Cornell's concentrates on the broad impact of digital communication rather than journalism or broadcast media. The four focus areas, combined with the available majors in the College of Agriculture and Life Sciences, create a wide range of possibilities. If I discover a hidden interest in environmental studies or a desire for an analytical edge, I can focus on the Communication of Science and Health and minor in Biometry and Statistics. Or, I can entrench myself in the world of computers and pair a focus on Communication and Information Technologies with an Information Science minor. Whichever area I choose, I know that Cornell's College of Agriculture and Life Sciences will provide me with a well-rounded yet personalized course of study.