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Posts by hera246
Joined: Oct 5, 2009
Last Post: Nov 25, 2009
Threads: 3
Posts: 10  
From: Pakistan

Displayed posts: 13
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hera246   
Oct 5, 2009
Writing Feedback / 'Young people these days are less interested in studying than in earning money' [3]

(350-600 word limit)

'Young people these days are less interested in studying than in earning money', as said by most people is quite true; however it is not justified unless we understand the variety of reasons why youngsters develop interest in earning money.

According to the OECD Secretary-General Angel GurrĂ­a, "As we emerge from the global economic crisis, demand for university education becomes higher than ever."

As the students move on to achieve higher education after graduating from the high school, they have to consider many things before getting admission into a good college.

Unlike thirty years before, when fee structures were reasonable, today most colleges have tuition fees and other expenses which sum up to a high value.

About sixty-five percent of the student body comes from families that cannot afford high tuition fees. As a result, many students have to do part-time jobs, which wastes most of their time, which they could utilize for study, and because of this, many students complete their four-year bachelors in six years.

Also with the growing advantages for the better-educated and likely continuing high levels of unemployment, as economies move out of recession, students agree to do jobs that are not necessarily very suitable for them. Once a student starts earning money, he gets used to it, until he becomes overly engaged in earning and forgets about working hard.

In some developing countries where feudal system is dominant, most parents force their children to help them in their family businesses during their studies time. This makes their children uninterested in studying and thus instead of flourishing in academics, their children plan about ways of doubling their pocket money.

Apart from this, there are some families, in which young children start doing job because they want to prove their parents that they no longer need parental support, of course that opens the question of whether parental attitude makes them go for it or the temptation to have more money than their meager pocket money.

In some countries, independent firms demanding low paid labor, offer attractive packages for young people, which they accept without giving it a second thought.

On the other hand, there are students who are actually tired of earning. They know that they could earn a lot more money if they had completed their bachelors or masters; however, because of financial problems, they are forced to do jobs.

In my opinion, doing job while you are studying is not unsuitable as it gives good experience and prepare you for future endeavors, unless you decide yourself about your priorities and control your temptations for money, which is difficult but controllable.
hera246   
Oct 9, 2009
Undergraduate / 'Silence in the house' - common app: Topic of choice [19]

slightly swaying the photo of my family on the shelf.
Perhaps you could divide your first paragraph into two to give a better impact.

take care of the minor mistakes of the choice of words and parts of speech.

Overall essay is impressive
hera246   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Fortune telling [4]

(350-600 words)

Fortune telling refers to the prediction of the future of an individual by supernatural or mystical means.

Fortunetellers or soothsayers use specific methods to foretell the future (distant or nearer) of a person by using the information provided by the person and extrapolating it with specified results to conclude the possible happenings of the future; however this method is subjective and most often events are totally opposite to what was predicted.

The History of fortunetelling goes back to 5000 years when special clairvoyants were hired for the Kings and clergymen to predict the most suitable strategies for them. Nevertheless, fortunetellers soon lost respect and popularity during the rise of Reason in the 17th and 18th century.

In Europe, fortunetelling was considered a sin, therefore it was legally forbidden, and civil laws were passed that forbade its practice completely. However, its popularity increased with years as people began to practice it unlawfully, and even now, despite the legal limitations, celebrities and politicians are observed to consult a fortuneteller for making decisions.

In Chinese society, Fortune telling is considered an important part of social and business culture and a large number of methods (typically devised by Chinese grand masters) are used to predict nearer future in the Chinese year.

In the African-American society, it is practiced without any prohibition, and a modern method of casting bone and hoodoo (magical coaching) is popular because of the accuracy of its results.

Common methods used for fortunetelling are astromancy, Tarot reading (card reading), crystallomancy (reading crystal sphere), pendulum reading, contumacy, horary astrology, and spirit board reading, which come from the old Roman and gypsy methods.

Another form of fortunetelling is the spiritual consultation, in which no specific methods are used; rather, the practitioner gives the subject advices, which come from the spirits or in visions.

In addition to predicting the future, modern future tellers also give psychic readings, which use methods such as numerology, graphology, palmistry and astrology to help people solve their problems.

In the contemporary society, Women are seen more often than men are, to consult the fortunetellers to help them in romantic, financial or studious matters, which are shown by the excessive advertisements in magazines aimed at women.

Businesspersons consult fortunetellers for predicting their future investments, and profits. Most people approach psychic readers to help them understand their inner-self, or most often predict the future of their married life or their compatibility with their spouse.

Moreover, modern soothsayers have opened their websites or they are registered with the websites and TV channels such as MSN astrology and astrology.com where spiritual-strength-seekers are given attractive offers of free psychic reading, compatibility test, or even death tests and therefore, fortune telling has become a big source for commercial gain.

Apart from this, still in many countries, face reading, palm reading, physiotherapy, and 'Bazi' are used by the street fortune tellers as the basic source of their income, where internet psychology is still unpopular, because of its expensiveness.

On the other hand, religious scholars consider it unlawful and against the religious doctrine.
Christian and Islamic followers believe that fortune telling is an open challenge to God and that it is clearly forbidden in Bible. Islamic scholars object to its practice by stating that the knowledge of the future and the power to make future is in the hands of God, and it is against the Islamic laws to try to predict future although it is stated as a true knowledge in Quran.

In addition, people against it justify its unlawfulness by saying that it may be merely a way of reducing anxiety among people or a source of entertainment and because predictions usually use vague terms, they never lend themselves to falsification.

A fortuneteller may also be used by some biased political forces to appeal to the decision to be made.

Despite its unreliability, Fortunetellers have so far been successful in convincing people to use future prediction to control the inevitable events in their life.
hera246   
Oct 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / Fortune telling [4]

This was just an expository essay topic from the GCE past paper of English language, So I decided to write on it.
hera246   
Oct 20, 2009
Undergraduate / "My work experience: A Salesman"-Common Application Personal Essay. [7]

First of all avoid the use of slang in your essay. Whatever it is.
If you write your narration in standard English, that might improve your essay.
There are many grammatical mistakes as well.
You can describe personal experiences, but you need to be precise.
hera246   
Nov 14, 2009
Undergraduate / husband of my mother's friend - SIGNIFICANT INFLUENCE Common Application Essay [3]

He was born in XXX....
J impresses me with his unbelievable stories, that I really enjoy listening...

The story when he moves to the US One of his stories that I like most is-

J shows me to give never up rather it could be 'J tells me to never give up, he thinks that being ambitious is more important than many people think it is'....

his business partner ran away with the whole entire IT equipment.

Now J lives in XXX again, (rather write how he moved to his previous place) but he still works for a company in the US. J commutes between the two countries and is a master in coping with difficult problems.

J definitely shows me made me learn/taught me, that nothing is impossible!

Give some more details...give strength to your points...
hera246   
Nov 14, 2009
Undergraduate / What name would you suggest for Grinnell? [13]

What mascot or nickname would you recommend for Grinnell College to reflect its history, current environment and core principles, as you know them and why?

(No word limit)

''The strivers'' could be one nickname for Grinnell to reflect its history, setbacks faced by its students, and pioneers, its global learning environment, diverse community, and its emphasis on social responsibilities.

I have never been to the US, or to any of the US colleges; however, one of my preference choices is Grinnell.

The reason why I chose Grinnell was my desire to study in an international university, in a new and challenging environment, where I would have a wide opportunity to explore new cultures and mingle freely with a diversified community, meet new challenges and most importantly, move in a highly respectable and intellectual community.

Is this enough to answer this question or should I write more?
hera246   
Nov 14, 2009
Undergraduate / 'glorious alumna / colleges for women' - Smith college supplement [2]

Your first part is fine....I don't think anything needs change.
Give more points to justify why women education was important in the 1800s and why it is more important nowadays....

Please read my thread as well....I want you to make a comment on it. What is required and what needs to be changed....
hera246   
Nov 25, 2009
Undergraduate / What name would you suggest for Grinnell? [13]

Yes I am working on more essays as soon as I complete them I'll publish them all....then I would like to have your comment....
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