Posts by suckasmack

suckasmack

Oct 7, 2019

Undergraduate / Flying - Purdue Opportunities Essay. How do the opportunities at Purdue support my interests? [2]

"How will opportunities at Purdue support your interests, both in and out of the classroom? (100 words)"

anything that flies

I am obsessed with anything that flies: aircraft, rockets, and more. At Purdue, I can explore my interests through numerous educational and extracurricular programs.

Studying within the School of Aeronautics and Astronautics will allow me to follow in the footsteps of some of my greatest personal idols: Neil Armstrong, Virgil Grissom, and Eugene Cernan. I will be able to apply my knowledge through extracurricular activities such as Design Build Fly and the AIAA Space Transportation Design Competition.

The physics greatly fascinate me, and studying at Purdue will allow me to dive deeper and strive for success in the aerospace industry.

suckasmack

Oct 12, 2019

Undergraduate / Common app essay - The gaming Cafe. A challenge, setback, or failure and its effect on me. [4]

@soo010207

Hi! Welcome to the forum! If you have any questions, feel free to ask!

In the first few paragraphs, you did a pretty good job describing the setting. For me, I would change the number "50" to "fifty" to obtain a cleaner look.

Overall, the dialogue included often made the backstory sound much better, but the "PEW-PEW" sound in the second paragraph made the rest of the essay seem slightly unprofessional. Also, I would change all of the numbers to their word counterparts to achieve a cleaner look. I would be sure to accurately describe specific items as well. Throughout the essay, you gave vague descriptions in order to outline more events. While this can be beneficial, highlighting the important aspects while communicating with more details is much better. I would take out some of the filler and focus on the aspects that truly had an impact.