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Flying - Purdue Opportunities Essay. How do the opportunities at Purdue support my interests?

suckasmack 1 / 1 1  
Oct 7, 2019   #1
"How will opportunities at Purdue support your interests, both in and out of the classroom? (100 words)"

anything that flies

I am obsessed with anything that flies: aircraft, rockets, and more. At Purdue, I can explore my interests through numerous educational and extracurricular programs.

Studying within the School of Aeronautics and Astronautics will allow me to follow in the footsteps of some of my greatest personal idols: Neil Armstrong, Virgil Grissom, and Eugene Cernan. I will be able to apply my knowledge through extracurricular activities such as Design Build Fly and the AIAA Space Transportation Design Competition.

The physics greatly fascinate me, and studying at Purdue will allow me to dive deeper and strive for success in the aerospace industry.
Maria - / 1,098 389  
Oct 9, 2019   #2
Hi! Welcome to the forum. I hope that this feedback becomes helpful.

Firstly, the first sentence immediately appears to be unprofessional and can throw off evaluators. What I would suggest is opting for something that, on the surface level, appears to be more academic in structure. For instance, tackle an experience that has led you onto wanting to pursue this. Talk about how you want to pursue your passions in this regard.

When you're citing reasons why you are seeking admission in the university, evade from merely mentioning names of popular people. Instead, cite something more credible and concrete. Review their curriculum and mention which courses you are interested in. Review the list of professors and talk about who you would want to have classroom discussions with. This will pique their interest more as it's more university-specific.

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