bgulcen
Nov 2, 2019
Writing Feedback / Should children be inspired to compete or to cooperate? My point of view. [4]
Please help me check this writing. Thanks for your time.
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are many arguments regarding how children would become more beneficial when they are grown up. Some people believe that children should be inspired to compete with each other, while others are of the opinion that co-operation between children. I will discuss both views but personally, I agree that rewards of competition, which include creativity and self-reliance, outweigh the benefits of teaching the co-operation.
There are several reasons why the co-operation among children is beneficial. In such a way that they can share their knowledge, skills and ideas with each other, and as a result, this association may combine these features and create advanced ideas. For example, when I was a child, my science tutor assigned different groups of four students to do project regarding potential inventions. That group work provided us to improve various ideas that could be done at that time. In fact, co-operation can encourage the children to improve distinct ideas by means of team work.
Despite aforementioned benefits, there is also a case for advocating the competition between children. The argument to support this is the fact that children can be more creative under competitive and challenging study environment. Moreover, children can become independent and rely on themselves. For instance, I also had an individual project in my science lesson, and students were presenting their progress in the project every week. As I saw the others' project, I realized that I had to do more creative project to get higher mark.
In conclusion, I would argue that children development should be in the competitive environment because this generates more inventive ideas and makes children self-reliant. I recommend that ministry of national education should revise the school curriculum by means of increasing competitive activities.
Please help me check this writing. Thanks for your time.
IELTS WRITING TASK 2 - CHILDREN DEVELOPMENTS
Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There are many arguments regarding how children would become more beneficial when they are grown up. Some people believe that children should be inspired to compete with each other, while others are of the opinion that co-operation between children. I will discuss both views but personally, I agree that rewards of competition, which include creativity and self-reliance, outweigh the benefits of teaching the co-operation.
There are several reasons why the co-operation among children is beneficial. In such a way that they can share their knowledge, skills and ideas with each other, and as a result, this association may combine these features and create advanced ideas. For example, when I was a child, my science tutor assigned different groups of four students to do project regarding potential inventions. That group work provided us to improve various ideas that could be done at that time. In fact, co-operation can encourage the children to improve distinct ideas by means of team work.
Despite aforementioned benefits, there is also a case for advocating the competition between children. The argument to support this is the fact that children can be more creative under competitive and challenging study environment. Moreover, children can become independent and rely on themselves. For instance, I also had an individual project in my science lesson, and students were presenting their progress in the project every week. As I saw the others' project, I realized that I had to do more creative project to get higher mark.
In conclusion, I would argue that children development should be in the competitive environment because this generates more inventive ideas and makes children self-reliant. I recommend that ministry of national education should revise the school curriculum by means of increasing competitive activities.