Writing Feedback / IELTS task 1- The places visited by different people living in Canada. [7]

the popularity of four types attractions among canadians

Hello everyone
I appreciate your feedback and answers

In this essay, I tried to write a paragraph for each groups like bellow:

Paragraph 1: Introduction and overview
Paragraph 2: Born in Canada
Paragraph 3: New migrants born in English-speaking countries
Paragraph 4: New migrants born in other countries

Do you think the way I grouped them is a good idea please?
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The bar chart illustrates three groups' of people favorite places which are Cinema, theater library and zoo. Overall, all the three groups of people prefer visiting library more than the other three places, while they all like visiting the theater the least. The numbers are given in percentages.

Native Canadian's favorite place is cinema where %70 of them visited, while the least place the want to visit is theater which comprises 20%. After them come zoo and library that takes almost 42% and nearly 38$ respectively.

New English-speaking migrant's favorite place is the cinema that covers 50%, in contrast, only about 28% of them want to spend time in the theater. When it comes to the library and the zoo, the percentage is 40 and 50 in succession.

Non-English-speaking migrants would like to head to the library more than anywhere else which can be seen in the large percentage of about %55, while merely 10% go to the theater. In addition to that, 50% of them like the cinemas, and approximately 30% of their visits is directed to the zoos.

180 words

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Writing Feedback / advantage and disadvantage essay - With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. [2]

Question:
With the rise of e-books comes the decline in paper books. Some people see this as a good step forward while others do not.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

Skeleton:
Intro: paraphrasing the question + a general overview
-Advantage 1: e-books are easier to get
-Advantage 2: e-books are cheaper to buy
-Disadvantage 1: e-book readers have eye restraint issues
-Disadvantage 2: e-books do not give you a real book feeling
-Conclusion

Answer:

In these days, as the number of e-books grow, the number of paper books decline more. This trend has divided people into having two different opinions. Some see this step as a prosperous and worthwhile one, while others do not. In this essay, I will write the pros and cons of both paper books and e-books and offer a conclusion.

Let's start by looking at the reasons why some prefer e-books over the physical ones. Digital books are easier for the readers to get. For example, you see a book advertisement on the road posters or maybe on a newspaper, it takes you almost no effort to grab your cellphone in a matter of 5 seconds and buy that book online, while the same book might not be available in that time or location.

Secondly, another thing that makes e-books to be more efficient is their reasonability in price. It would be so obvious how e-books are cheaper if we visit Amazon Online Bookstore ad your local bookstore in your area. For instance. The novel of ''The Lord of the Flies'' by William Golding can be attained for 15$ only in many online bookstores that sell digital books, while the hard copy of the very same book is almost 20$.

Let's move to the other side of the argument by explaining the reason why some people are not that happy toward the rise of digital books. E-book opponents say that the e-book readers that are used to read this type of book hurt your eyes by flashing the blue light that can damage your eyesight through the passage of time.

Another e-book issue is that they do not provide you with the feeling that the real books do. For example, when there is a real book being read in your hands, you will be sure that you are doing something in reading it as it is in your hands, while you are not provided with is sense by having a book reader in your hand.

Having both point of views into consideration, I can say that there are advantages and disadvantages in the continuous rise of digital books, e-books are easier and cheaper to purchase while paper books are more real and give you a special feeling.

IELTS requirement: No less than 250 words
This essay: 376 words