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Posts by timmy88
Name: Long Ho
Joined: Feb 16, 2020
Last Post: Feb 17, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Viet Nam

Displayed posts: 2
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timmy88   
Feb 16, 2020
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - Education - Higher Education - Both Views [4]

the best route to a successful career



Dear,

Firstly, thank you so much for take time to review this topic. So if it is possible, please help me review and correct my essay below.

Best Regards,

Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.


In recent years, many people believe that studying at higher education would be a better approach to get better job opportunities. However, a number of opponents express that getting a job as soon as students finish school would be outweighed. This essay will discusses both sides and draw out my perspective.

It is apparent fact that people with qualifications not only likely to get well-paid job, but they also become more competitive to open the door in the labor market. Furthermore, skilled workers really need for sectors, such as economy, engineering, information technology and so on. For example, nowadays, manual jobs have been gradually replaced by robots controlled by engineers, whereas we always need specialists who specialize in their field to design, create and develop machine systems.

On the other hand, firstly, learning at university or college would spend them too much money and time, while they have to do extra time to struggle with live expense being more and more expensive. And as a result, this problem led to their downswing in studying. Secondly, degree would be not really necessary in some industries or service professions which needs manual workers. For instance, in developed countries, they always need wide ranges of labors for home services, such as plumber, cleaning carpets, and the price of these service is being increased day by day.

In conclusion, all above opinions are make sense. Therefore, it is really hard for me to draw a definite conclusion. For my opinion, the demerits of learning at higher education are overshadowed by the merits, so we should go to either university or college to get better life.
timmy88   
Feb 17, 2020
Writing Feedback / Writing Task 2 - Education - Higher Education - Both Views [4]

Hi @Holt and @shinxg,

Thank you very much for your feedback and comments, which help me so much. I have a plan learning abroad, and I try to get IELTS band 6 by self-study. Actually, this is the first essay I do for writing task 2.

I will take notes your comments and try to improve in next essay.

Thanks,
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