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Posts by thuchaau [Suspended]
Name: Minh Thu
Joined: Feb 24, 2020
Last Post: Mar 7, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  
From: Viet Nam
School: Nguyen Thuong Hien

Displayed posts: 4
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thuchaau   
Mar 4, 2020
Writing Feedback / The difficulties people have when they integrate into a new country [5]

Integration problems for people living abroad (%)



The chart below shows information about the problems people have when they go to live in other countries. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My answer:
The bar chart shows the difficulties people have when they integrate into a new country and how the problems vary according to people's ages.

The greatest problem for people of all ages is arranging healthcare. A problem experienced by 32 to 37 percent of all people find this a problem.

The second biggest problem is organizing finances. Although only 29 percent of people over 55 find it hard to organize finances, while 34 percent of people aged 18-34 and 35 percent of people aged 35-54 have this problem.

In contrast to finding schools difficulties, only 2 percent of the oldest age group and 6 percent of the youngest age group have trouble finding schools for their children. However, the percentage of who have problems finding schools of the other age group is at 19 percent.

In general, all age groups experience the same difficulties to some extent, but the percentage of the 35-54 age group who have trouble finding schools for their children is much higher than the others.



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thuchaau   
Mar 7, 2020
Writing Feedback / The importance of color in marketing [4]

Hello,
Besides is an adverb. You put it at the beginning so that a comma should follow this word, not a noun (Besides,...)
"Through According to some market surveys"
First is an adjective, use Firstly,... or if this statement is significant, you should use First and foremost,...
Second -> Secondly or you can use "In addition,..." to add a further supporting argument to a previous point.
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