Unanswered [1] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ylc125 [Suspended]
Name: che
Joined: Apr 11, 2020
Last Post: May 14, 2020
Threads: 2
Posts: 3  

Displayed posts: 5
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
ylc125   
May 3, 2020
Writing Feedback / Illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry [3]

Writing task 2 - Music piracy



Hi, everyone, I'm studying for IELTS and need you to help me correct the essay.

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?


It is true that people who work in the music industry acknowledge that measures should be taken to stave off the operation of stream-ripping sites. While I agree that steps could be made to deal with this problem, I believe that music download websites are beneficial to the public and as well as artists.

On the one hand, music piracy has had a strong influence on the artists and the record labels in several respects. It is strictly illegal to download copyrighted music without the permission of the owners. From an ethical standpoint, there is no difference between downloading music illegally and stealing a CD from a shop. Furthermore, music piracy threatens the livelihood of creative artists. Due to the popularity of music ripping, musicians lose the income from their artistic works and do not get enough financial support which put them in a precarious situation. As for the record companies, music theft also leads to the loss of annual revenue, and lower-level workers of the companies may be jobless.

On the other hand, there are good reasons why these sites should still exist. CDs are incredibly expensive, so many music lovers could not afford them. In addition, some people only enjoy one to two songs, and they are unwilling to pay for the entire album. As for the poor, music-sharing websites may contribute to equity as these provide access to poor people, who are unable to pay for CD, to enjoy artistic creations. Finally, these sites could act as a medium for increasing the popularity of the musicians because the websites allow artists to put their content online for free and attract more music lovers to appreciate their works and concerts.

In conclusion, protections could be made to prevent illegal music downloading sites, but I believe that the existence of these sites is necessary.
ylc125   
May 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS2 - governments, companies and people have equal responsibilities for combating global warming [3]

Global warming responsibilities



Climate change represents a major threat to countries around the world, and some people argue that people should be responsible for coping this problem instead of companies and the authorities, and I'm completely disagree with this viewpoint. I believe that both corporations and governments have equal responsibility.

Governments indeed need to take responsibility for the impact on climate change as they have the most power to change things. People and companies would not change their practice until the authorities introduce stricter laws or offer incentives to change their behaviors. For example, governments could introduce green taxes on drivers or companies and impose heavy fines for those who fail to adhere to these laws. Furthermore, the authorities could also invest money in the development of renewable energy, such as solar, wind or water power.

Corporations also have responsibilities for combat climate change. Firstly, companies could build up the collaboration with governments in inventing green energy from natural sources by gathering groups of outstanding scientists around the world. Moreover, manufactures could reduce the pace of climate change by implanting circular economy. Circular economy features that companies retain the responsibilities for the products instead of customers, which means companies are responsible for dealing with the products that reach the end of lifecycle. Manufactures could repair the broken parts of an item and reuse them to assemble another products.

Individuals certainly have the responsibility of dealing with global warming for some degree. The public could affect the acts of governments by voting for politicians who propose to combat climate change, rather than for those who would prefer to ignore it. In addition, people could limit their contribution to climate change by becoming more energy-efficient, by taking public transportation or bicycles, and they could boycott the products that have much packaging or companies known for pollute.

In conclusion, climate change is a pressing global issue, and I believe governments, companies and people have equal responsibilities for combating global warming.

___
Thank you for your revision.
ylc125   
May 14, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS2 - governments, companies and people have equal responsibilities for combating global warming [3]

@Holt
I'm sorry I didn't notice that the prompt was left out, so this time I post the essay again with the title.
Thank you for your revision.

Climate change is a phenomenon that affects countries all over the world. Many people strongly believe that it is the responsibility of individuals, rather than corporations and governments, to deal with this problem.

To what extent do you agree?

Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳