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Posts by syifabrina [Suspended]
Name: Syifa Shabrina Siregar
Joined: May 17, 2020
Last Post: May 30, 2020
Threads: 1
Posts: 2  
From: Indonesia
School: Brawijaya University

Displayed posts: 3
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syifabrina   
May 20, 2020
Scholarship / Australia Awards Scholarship - Master of Information Technology in Cyber Security [2]

Dear all,

I need input on the answer to question number one Australia Awards Scholarship, and my answer exceeded by 379 words, which part do you think I should delete? Thank you so much.

Q.1

Why did you choose your proposed course and institution?



The number of data breach cases in Indonesia is three times more than in Australia. According to the Office of the Australian Information Commissioner (OAIC), there were 262 cases of data breach, where Indonesia has 945 cases of data breach. It happens because Indonesia does not yet have primary legislation on personal data protection. In contrast, Australia already has clear and detailed regulations and procedures regarding personal data protection such as Australian Privacy Principle Guidelines, Freedom of Information Act and OAIC.

According to Allianz Risk Barometer, cyber incidents is the most critical business risk. Therefore, I am motivated to work in sub directorate of governance personal data protection in the Indonesian Ministry of Communication and Information Technology to create appropriate and detailed policies in Indonesia by studying Master of Cyber Security.

Macquarie University is my first preference to study Master of Information Technology in Cyber Security. It offers unique units of study Australia and Cyber Intelligence to understand Australia cyber principles and the role of cyber intelligence. Other than that, it also offers Cyber Security, Governance Frameworks and Ethics to have an ethical and legal responsibility to safeguard personal data. Moreover, it offers industry-based project, has many lecturers who research personal data protection, has the Global Leadership Program and located in Sydney, where Sydney is Australia's leading high tech precincts.

My second preference is to do Master of Cyber Security Management Specialisation at the University of Adelaide. It also offers industry-based project and exciting unit of study Policies and Procedures in Organisational Cyber Security that provides knowledge and skills to research policies and procedures as they develop and tailor them to specific industry needs. However, this program lacks technical knowledge about personal data protection, and lecturer research is centred on machine learning.

In conclusion, cybersecurity is always in the spotlight, and it is best to learn how to create personal data protection regulations and policies in Australia. By studying Master of Cyber Security at the Macquarie University or the University of Adelaide will enhance my knowledge and connect me with professional networks to help me reduce data breach cases in Indonesia.
syifabrina   
May 30, 2020
Scholarship / My entry to Ivy Panda Essay Writing Scholarship -is studying abroad really worth it [4]

Corrections for grammar, punctuation and spelling:
1. ... get out from of our comfort zone
2. ... den does not amount for it, not
3. ... for quality education, she stumbles
4. ... to study at in an advanced country
5. Lucas, a low-class of Denmark, is given ...
6. He shares the good news with his ... and then researches the country's educational sector.
7. ... watches this interview, insists ...
8. ... (IES) surveyed to explore ... students, it is discovered...
9. ... of their own cultural ...
10. self-confidence
11. ... is knowledge, and the only evil ...
12. In every situation, knowledge is always acknowledged.
13. Just like the ship, which leaves its harbor ... calling, and ... storms,
14. ... that comes with it ... abroad is really worth it.
15. ... citizen of Morocco. She has always ..., and in turn, she ...
16. ... quality education, she stumbles ... for undergraduate students. She is ...
17. ... of the scholarship, and she is overjoyed. Although she can afford a proper education in ... to study in an advanced country.
18. ... when the host country's educational system is better than ...
19. ... studying abroad catalyzed increased maturity.
20. ... educational values is really worth it, ...
21. ... their educational system is weak when ...
syifabrina   
May 30, 2020
Writing Feedback / Natural Resources - Explain a situation, using specific reasons and examples [3]

Correctness for spelling, punctuation, etc:
1. ... natural resources, such as animals,
2. ... importance of forests, which need
4. ... sunlight, and water to
5. As a results, the atmosphere ...
6. ..., bushes, and grass
7. ..., so the death rate is low.
8. soil layers that helps to
9. ... them for any reasons
10. As a result ..., trunk pigs, and koala ...
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