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My entry to Ivy Panda Essay Writing Scholarship -is studying abroad really worth it

Littledrunkgirl /  
May 28, 2020   #1

Is studying abroad really worth it

A ship in a harbor is safe, but that is not what ships are built for.-John .A. sheds(1850-1962)
The lion being safe when found in his den does not amount for it not going out to hunt for food - Itonyo Deborah Mark. We have to get out from our comfort zone to be able to thrive in worse situations, as it is what we are created for. The need for advancement has brought about many needs, one of which is the need for studying abroad.

Adillah is a middle-class citizen of Morocco, she has always been a straight A+ student, and in turn, she is an idol to many. In her quest for quality education she stumbles upon the Japanese Government Scholarship (MEXT) for undergraduate students, and she is determined to apply for it. Sarah is announced as one of the winners of the scholarship and she is overjoyed, and despite the fact that she can afford a suitable education in her country, she decides to study at an advanced country. Lucas a low-class of Denmark is given a recognition scholarship to study in Togo. He shares the good news to his family and friends and then conducts a research about the country's educational sector. Unfortunately, he finds out that their educational system is poor when compared to that of his country. He decides to get a student loan and enrolls In a prestigious university in his country. In interviews Sarah says "Studying abroad is worth it and that anyone who gets a scholarship to study abroad should utilize it", Lucas who watches this interview insists that he would never accept the scholarship he was given even if it is fully funded.

Studying abroad is worth it when the educational system of the host country is better than what you have in your country.
After the Institute for International Education for Students (IES) conducted a survey to explore about studying abroad, amongst the surveyed students it is discovered that-

·98% say that they have better understanding of their own cultural values and biases.
·97% agreed that studying abroad served as a catalyst for increased maturity.
·96% admits it improved their self confidence.
·86% that it influenced their subsequent educational experience.
·75% said that they acquired skill sets that influenced their career path.(Ivy Panda blog)
A strong start will always require a stronger finish. We should come to realize that not all countries offer the quality education we require in life. Studying abroad in a country with better educational values is really worth it, quality before quantity.

The only good is knowledge and the only evil is ignorance -Socrates(469-399 BC). There is no doubt that knowledge is power as we see the creative thinkers at the top of every field and the ignorant struggling to survive. In every situation the knowledgeable are always acknowledged. Therefore, quality education and creativity is a priority to succeed greatly in life.

Just like the ship which leaves it's harbor to fullfil it's calling, and persists through storms we are to leave our comfort zone and go all out for quality education and conquer the challenges and responsibilities that comes with it because studying abroad is really worth it.

Works cited

Salt from my attic(1928) by John .A. Sheds
BBC travel(2012) web
55 study abroad statistics: Facts and figures (2020 Update)

-Please help me with corrections
-Check the grammar, punctuation and spelling
- the organization and referencing system

Please I need urgent help as this is my entrance essay to an essay writing competition thanks
ChristinePYM - / 1  
May 29, 2020   #2
In your essay, I see examples mostly. In my opinion, you should include more information. I think you should include your ideas.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 10,535 3447  
May 29, 2020   #3
What are the essay writing instructions? I cannot review your essay for applicability to the competition if I do not know what the requirements are. You need to deliver the writing instructions if you want to receive applicable advice for the improvement of your content and presentation.

I can however, tell you that the essay is not good. It uses the words of other people to open the discussion, without the writer explaining how the texts apply to the discussion being presented. There is nothing to show the opinion of the people who won the scholarship. Why did they decide to go abroad to study? Why did they need the scholarship? The survey about the students reasons for studying abroad is just presented. There is no reason to value these digits.

There is no reference to anything that would make this essay even considerable for the competition. It does not work in any way. It is not a competitive piece. I cannot help you because I do not know the writing instructions for the essay. I wish you had provided that to me when you first posted this essay here.
syifabrina 1 / 2  
May 30, 2020   #4
Corrections for grammar, punctuation and spelling:
1. ... get out from of our comfort zone
2. ... den does not amount for it, not
3. ... for quality education, she stumbles
4. ... to study at in an advanced country
5. Lucas, a low-class of Denmark, is given ...
6. He shares the good news with his ... and then researches the country's educational sector.
7. ... watches this interview, insists ...
8. ... (IES) surveyed to explore ... students, it is discovered...
9. ... of their own cultural ...
10. self-confidence
11. ... is knowledge, and the only evil ...
12. In every situation, knowledge is always acknowledged.
13. Just like the ship, which leaves its harbor ... calling, and ... storms,
14. ... that comes with it ... abroad is really worth it.
15. ... citizen of Morocco. She has always ..., and in turn, she ...
16. ... quality education, she stumbles ... for undergraduate students. She is ...
17. ... of the scholarship, and she is overjoyed. Although she can afford a proper education in ... to study in an advanced country.
18. ... when the host country's educational system is better than ...
19. ... studying abroad catalyzed increased maturity.
20. ... educational values is really worth it, ...
21. ... their educational system is weak when ...

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