TuyenVo
Jun 18, 2020
Writing Feedback / IELTS GT Writing task 2- How do you think children should spend their free time ? [5]
Please help me to reveiw my writing below.
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more schoolwork.
Some people suppose that children have too much free time which kids should use more for studying. In my opinion, that statement is quite exact but not all the cases.
On the one hand, spending extra time doing schoolwork has some positive impacts on teenagers. Firstly, the more time children spend on studying, the more knowledge they could earn. In fact, various researches show that human learning is most influential in the first few years of life. Hence, if children could effectively take advantage of that period, they would create a strong foundation for their growing years later. Secondly, focusing on school assignments instead of other entertainment, such as video games, also generates the child's discipline. Actually, this character is extremely necessary for children's development, which makes them standstill in front of the temptation of their surroundings.
On the other hand, there are some unavoidable negative effects on adolescents that need to be mentioned. Firstly, taking too much time at school or for homework would absolutely deprive kids of outdoor activities. These days, many developed countries tend to guide their youth with more social and survival skills through extracurricular programs. In fact, without these activities, youngsters might lose a considerable amount of joy and real experiences. On top of that, enormously doing schoolwork would give children tremendous stress, which could lead to some terrible mental problems. As recorded, a lot of gifted kids became psycho because of learning all day and night.
In conclusion, I suppose that adults should help children allocate their free time properly as long as kids still have a balanced life.
Please help me to reveiw my writing below.
Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time should be used to do more schoolwork.
How do you think children should spend their free time?
Some people suppose that children have too much free time which kids should use more for studying. In my opinion, that statement is quite exact but not all the cases.
On the one hand, spending extra time doing schoolwork has some positive impacts on teenagers. Firstly, the more time children spend on studying, the more knowledge they could earn. In fact, various researches show that human learning is most influential in the first few years of life. Hence, if children could effectively take advantage of that period, they would create a strong foundation for their growing years later. Secondly, focusing on school assignments instead of other entertainment, such as video games, also generates the child's discipline. Actually, this character is extremely necessary for children's development, which makes them standstill in front of the temptation of their surroundings.
On the other hand, there are some unavoidable negative effects on adolescents that need to be mentioned. Firstly, taking too much time at school or for homework would absolutely deprive kids of outdoor activities. These days, many developed countries tend to guide their youth with more social and survival skills through extracurricular programs. In fact, without these activities, youngsters might lose a considerable amount of joy and real experiences. On top of that, enormously doing schoolwork would give children tremendous stress, which could lead to some terrible mental problems. As recorded, a lot of gifted kids became psycho because of learning all day and night.
In conclusion, I suppose that adults should help children allocate their free time properly as long as kids still have a balanced life.