Marsio59
Jul 15, 2020
Writing Feedback / Children need a guide - Ielts preparation for postgraduate course admission [3]
Hello guys. I'm currently working on ielts preparation, especially i'm focusing on task 2. However, I'm facing some difficulties in trying to well organize my essays. I will post an example of an essay I have recently wrote, in order to understand how can I improve my writing. Thank you very much.
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect them.
Education of children has always been a crucial topic. Some people argue that it is important to concede them a certain independence regarding choices about their lives, contrastingly others believe that if those were free to satisfy all their own decisions this would dramatically affect their behaviour as adults, resulting in a society characterized by individuals poor of values. I genially belive that children have to follow certain indications rather than act completely free in order to make the right decisions.
Children need a guide during the first years of their childhood, likewise, a ship needs a lighthouse to point the right direction in a storm, someone who can drive them to the adolescence, without leaving to themselves the burden of growing alone. Without any experiences, a little child is obviously not able to discriminate between what can be positive or negative for him and will be unconsciously attracted mostly by what he believes to be good. Furthermore, it has been proved that youngsters left alone, able to choose how to dress, what to eat without a clear reference, are most likely to develop a less-social behaviour along with remarkable cognitive problems. This is what emerged from a recent report, extracted from a paper published in 2018, in Nature Health.
On the other hand, many outlined that children need a certain independence. It's only by making their own decisions that those can develop a strong personality and a critical attitude, which will help them to survive once adults. However, although it has been demonstrated that children learn by themselves what they prefer or what they don't, this does not imply that they are able to always embrace a good choice. For instance, children often prefer to eat non-healthy food like chocolates or candies rather than vegetables or fruits thus potentially developing health problems.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that children need an external support that can help them to learn and understand how the world behaves, in order to avoid making wrong decisions that potentially could lead to serious drawbacks.
Hello guys. I'm currently working on ielts preparation, especially i'm focusing on task 2. However, I'm facing some difficulties in trying to well organize my essays. I will post an example of an essay I have recently wrote, in order to understand how can I improve my writing. Thank you very much.
helping kids to learn and understand the world
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decisions about matter that affect them.
Education of children has always been a crucial topic. Some people argue that it is important to concede them a certain independence regarding choices about their lives, contrastingly others believe that if those were free to satisfy all their own decisions this would dramatically affect their behaviour as adults, resulting in a society characterized by individuals poor of values. I genially belive that children have to follow certain indications rather than act completely free in order to make the right decisions.
Children need a guide during the first years of their childhood, likewise, a ship needs a lighthouse to point the right direction in a storm, someone who can drive them to the adolescence, without leaving to themselves the burden of growing alone. Without any experiences, a little child is obviously not able to discriminate between what can be positive or negative for him and will be unconsciously attracted mostly by what he believes to be good. Furthermore, it has been proved that youngsters left alone, able to choose how to dress, what to eat without a clear reference, are most likely to develop a less-social behaviour along with remarkable cognitive problems. This is what emerged from a recent report, extracted from a paper published in 2018, in Nature Health.
On the other hand, many outlined that children need a certain independence. It's only by making their own decisions that those can develop a strong personality and a critical attitude, which will help them to survive once adults. However, although it has been demonstrated that children learn by themselves what they prefer or what they don't, this does not imply that they are able to always embrace a good choice. For instance, children often prefer to eat non-healthy food like chocolates or candies rather than vegetables or fruits thus potentially developing health problems.
In conclusion, I firmly believe that children need an external support that can help them to learn and understand how the world behaves, in order to avoid making wrong decisions that potentially could lead to serious drawbacks.