bythe_Secoast
Oct 14, 2009
Undergraduate / "just go back in the cage..." - An extracurricular activity essay [6]
Hello, I'm just hoping to receive some criticism/feedback/suggestions on my short answer prompt for the common application. I don't know whether I am being too vague or not providing enough information about myself or my volunteering experience...
Prompt: "In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer)."
My response (exactly 150 words):
"Come on, it's not that bad." I begged, gently tugging on the leash. It was my third day volunteering at the local SPCA and my first confrontation with a stubborn dog.
"Look, a treat." I said in another futile attempt, throwing more cookies into the pen. I hadn't been advised how to handle such a situation.
Customers strolled by, curiously looking at the dog and I standing at the open cage, I trying to make it appear this is a normal practice. I'd run ideas and was preparing to stand here in till the dog chose to return to his cage.
"Do you need help?" A fellow volunteer asked, perhaps seeing my distress. I nodded, relief washing over, watching the volunteer drag the obstinate dog back into his pen. I move on to the next cage, feeling more prepared for any new obstacles this canine could have.
Thanks in advance to anyone who replies! I appreciate it a lot.
Hello, I'm just hoping to receive some criticism/feedback/suggestions on my short answer prompt for the common application. I don't know whether I am being too vague or not providing enough information about myself or my volunteering experience...
Prompt: "In the space provided below, please elaborate on one of your activities (extracurricular, personal activities, or work experience) (150 words or fewer)."
My response (exactly 150 words):
"Come on, it's not that bad." I begged, gently tugging on the leash. It was my third day volunteering at the local SPCA and my first confrontation with a stubborn dog.
"Look, a treat." I said in another futile attempt, throwing more cookies into the pen. I hadn't been advised how to handle such a situation.
Customers strolled by, curiously looking at the dog and I standing at the open cage, I trying to make it appear this is a normal practice. I'd run ideas and was preparing to stand here in till the dog chose to return to his cage.
"Do you need help?" A fellow volunteer asked, perhaps seeing my distress. I nodded, relief washing over, watching the volunteer drag the obstinate dog back into his pen. I move on to the next cage, feeling more prepared for any new obstacles this canine could have.
Thanks in advance to anyone who replies! I appreciate it a lot.