Janyanwu03
Oct 7, 2021
Writing Feedback / In recent years, the rate of youngster watching television amplify in a hurry [7]
Just as the expert consultant said, I think you are using too many complicated words which is making it hard for the reader to fully comprehend the message you are trying to portray. You also have a few grammar and punctuation errors. Such as "..." which can be replaced by "television ... a necessary thing in almost all families." Just re-read and find more sentences like this that don't make sense and make the appropriate changes. I can not comprehend what you are trying to say in this sentence, "... film is procedure additionally special effect..." Overall just make sure that your reader will understand the message after reading it.
Just as the expert consultant said, I think you are using too many complicated words which is making it hard for the reader to fully comprehend the message you are trying to portray. You also have a few grammar and punctuation errors. Such as "..." which can be replaced by "television ... a necessary thing in almost all families." Just re-read and find more sentences like this that don't make sense and make the appropriate changes. I can not comprehend what you are trying to say in this sentence, "... film is procedure additionally special effect..." Overall just make sure that your reader will understand the message after reading it.