vbnghi
Dec 8, 2021
Writing Feedback / Provide university education for a large proportion of students? [3]
Hello! Pease feedback this piece of writing for me... I'm rather confused whether the flow and validity of my arguments, the consistency of tone or the use of vocabulary and grammar is good enough :( Thank youuuu in advance!!
Topic:
It is neither possible nor useful for the government to provide university education for a large proportion of students.
Regarding the paramount importance of university education, many people believe that the access to this category of education should be given to a colossal number of students. Personally, I concur with the opposite viewpoint that providing university education to a large number of students proves unjustifiable and useless for the government.
Admittedly, the provision of university education to multitudes of students is impractical as it can put strain on the government in terms of finance and human resources . Firstly, the cost of infrastructure to facilitate students' learning procedure is exorbitant such as advanced technological devices or demanded equipment for specific faculties, not to mention the high maintenance fees of such accoutrements. For example, students of the health faculty do demand certain instruments for the practice of surgeon, which costs the average amount of $3,772 to operate a surgical laboratory, according to a research by Medical Price Online. Moreover, providing university education to a great deal of students desperately requires a huge number of lecturers. Demanding such large human resources for newly-built universities may put huge emphasis on the quantity rather than the quality of lecturers. They, therefore, may lack the commitment and capacities to nurture the young talents, which can have many adverse impacts on the knowledge accumulation process of students.
Furthermore, providing university education to multitudes of students is useless in light of the waste of resources as well as the imbalance in the workforce. First and foremost, university education does not guarantee and ensure students' later success in life. This is especially true in case that the intrinsic values of university credentials can deteriorate due to the growing number of students possessing them. In such circumstances, it can trigger many difficulties for students to find a desirable profession based on just a university degree and problems for the government as their resources allocated to university education may only lead to the stuck or decrease of employment rates. What is more, the intellectual and labor workforce could face a threat of imbalance. As the increasing number of students who possess a university degree may only aspire to knowledge-based careers, there can be a lack of human resources for manual jobs. Thus, the labor-intensive industries such as mining or agriculture cannot develop, causing great financial losses to the economy.
In conclusion, the provision of tertiary education to multitudes of students can trigger many percussions for the government due to the mentioned justifications.
Hello! Pease feedback this piece of writing for me... I'm rather confused whether the flow and validity of my arguments, the consistency of tone or the use of vocabulary and grammar is good enough :( Thank youuuu in advance!!
Topic:
It is neither possible nor useful for the government to provide university education for a large proportion of students.
Do you agree or disagree?
Regarding the paramount importance of university education, many people believe that the access to this category of education should be given to a colossal number of students. Personally, I concur with the opposite viewpoint that providing university education to a large number of students proves unjustifiable and useless for the government.
Admittedly, the provision of university education to multitudes of students is impractical as it can put strain on the government in terms of finance and human resources . Firstly, the cost of infrastructure to facilitate students' learning procedure is exorbitant such as advanced technological devices or demanded equipment for specific faculties, not to mention the high maintenance fees of such accoutrements. For example, students of the health faculty do demand certain instruments for the practice of surgeon, which costs the average amount of $3,772 to operate a surgical laboratory, according to a research by Medical Price Online. Moreover, providing university education to a great deal of students desperately requires a huge number of lecturers. Demanding such large human resources for newly-built universities may put huge emphasis on the quantity rather than the quality of lecturers. They, therefore, may lack the commitment and capacities to nurture the young talents, which can have many adverse impacts on the knowledge accumulation process of students.
Furthermore, providing university education to multitudes of students is useless in light of the waste of resources as well as the imbalance in the workforce. First and foremost, university education does not guarantee and ensure students' later success in life. This is especially true in case that the intrinsic values of university credentials can deteriorate due to the growing number of students possessing them. In such circumstances, it can trigger many difficulties for students to find a desirable profession based on just a university degree and problems for the government as their resources allocated to university education may only lead to the stuck or decrease of employment rates. What is more, the intellectual and labor workforce could face a threat of imbalance. As the increasing number of students who possess a university degree may only aspire to knowledge-based careers, there can be a lack of human resources for manual jobs. Thus, the labor-intensive industries such as mining or agriculture cannot develop, causing great financial losses to the economy.
In conclusion, the provision of tertiary education to multitudes of students can trigger many percussions for the government due to the mentioned justifications.