Posts by viethoangpham

viethoangpham

Aug 1, 2022

Writing Feedback / IELTS Task 2 - Essay about whether they will choose traditional materials or read online freely. [2]

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

For editing, content, and formatting needs please contact us at essayforum.com@gmail.com. Thank you! EF

Traditional newspapers and books used to be an integral part of human life; however, as the Internet becomes more accessible than ever before, their marketability has been questionable at best because online materials can be read free of charge. While there is no denying the benefits of reading online newspapers and books over reading traditional ones, I believed that conventional newspapers and books can never be replaced.

On the one hand, the reason accounting for why people can read everything freely online is the prevalence of the Internet. This is because the Internet helps people keep in touch with each other and share their daily experiences, social affairs, and even e-books or online article at no expense. In addition, as long as people watch the attached advertisements on the website, they can read its contents at no cost because the owner's primary source of income mainly comes from advertising so that they can allocate those budgets for website maintenance.

On the other hand, not all online materials and websites are trustworthy. To earn more money, many online websites religiously deliver falsified and even over-exaggerated news to attract readers. This is the reason why the masses are inclined to lean towards the traditional materials that provide more reliable information. Furthermore, a host of websites often offer a price for copyright books or reliable international news to make money from the customers to have a sustainable income for their website operation. The Guardian and BBC are good examples. They offer a premium membership fee for online users who want to read all articles written by renowned and experienced writers.

To conclude, while it seems that online reading is superior to traditional reading in some aspects, the latter can not be discounted and is by no means expendable.

Please assess my coherence & cohesion and task achievement. Thank you.

viethoangpham

Aug 1, 2022

Writing Feedback / Companies are increasingly inclined to adopt offices with open space in lieu of separate rooms [4]

I think what he means is that when you write "do advantages outweigh the disadvantages" essay, you should prove how advantages/disadvantages outweigh disadvantages/advantages (to have a well score, of course).

In your essay, you leave the disadvantages essay without proving why is inferior to the advantages sides. Writing it in opinion and conclusions is a must and it only clarify your opinion, not supporting it. From my own experience, there are two ways you could tackle this issue:

First, if you decide to write both about advantages and disadvantages sides, you should include 2 disadvantages and 3 advantages (if advantages outweigh disadvantages) and vice versa.

(OPTIONAL) In the 2st paragraph, you could start by saying that the aforementioned disadvantages are not as important as the significant advantages of sth...

Second, like the consultant have said, you write two passages both favor in one side. However in 2nd paragraph, you should say a disadvantage which is thought to be true but it is not. You explain why this thinking is misunderstood and expand your ideas. It is hard but the best way to do this essay.

This is all come frommy own experiences so some informations may be wrong. You should check some reliable documents or ask experts.