blue54
Nov 9, 2009
Writing Feedback / TOEFL Essay." What changes do you think the 21st century will bring?" [3]
Dear friends,
I'm preparing for the TOEFL ibt. Please help me with writing section.
Here's my writing I've finished. Hope you guys help me comment it.
Thanks.
The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.
We are living in a fast developing society with incredible changes that improve the quality of life. Almost everyday there's something new and different is brought to our life. The 21st century, a promising and expected most century,has begun. I hope it would bring some changes to the world of technology,healthcare and medical science, and culture.
First of all, the 21st century is expected to be the century of very quickly progressing technology. Computer controlled robots and machines will gradually replace manual labor or the use of human effort. This will help people save time and power that should be spent more generating ideas and scientific research to find new solutions for vital problems the world is facing such as diseases, polution, growth population. Also, I expect the new century will bring more changes to computer technology.The computers upgraded will be faster and more advanced to meet more demands of people. We will have mini computers with high-speed internet conection that gives us quick access to it any time and any where.
Second of all, the next change I expect from the new century would be the improvements in healthcare as well as medical science. There's some threatening diseases such as cancers and AIDS as we know are still a question that has no answer. I hope in near future of the 21st century there will be medicines and methods of treatment found such diseases.
People will not suffer from these and illnesses any more. As a result, people will be more healthy and their life span will be increased. In addition, I expect more and more artifictial parts of human body will be found and improved to replace ones of some patients.
Finally, the last thing I hope the 21st century will bring to our society is the changes in culture. There will be more new tendencies, new spirits applied in arts, architectures,music and fashion. For instance in music, more and more kinds of music as well as instruments will be invented to adapt to hobbies or ages of people. Adding to these, lifestyles of people in countries will change. That the advances in almost fields in the 21st century make our life more mordern and easier raise some desires.
One of these is that some people want to study abroad or go for a tour to learn more about cultures of others coutries. Those on the one hand receive a new cuture but on the other hand bring their country's culture to the coutry they are in.
In conclusion, I believe the 21st century will bring a lot of changes in almost fields. Hope these will be possitive aspects that give improvements in quality of life.
Dear friends,
I'm preparing for the TOEFL ibt. Please help me with writing section.
Here's my writing I've finished. Hope you guys help me comment it.
Thanks.
The 21st century has begun. What changes do you think this new century will bring? Use examples and details in your answer.
We are living in a fast developing society with incredible changes that improve the quality of life. Almost everyday there's something new and different is brought to our life. The 21st century, a promising and expected most century,has begun. I hope it would bring some changes to the world of technology,healthcare and medical science, and culture.
First of all, the 21st century is expected to be the century of very quickly progressing technology. Computer controlled robots and machines will gradually replace manual labor or the use of human effort. This will help people save time and power that should be spent more generating ideas and scientific research to find new solutions for vital problems the world is facing such as diseases, polution, growth population. Also, I expect the new century will bring more changes to computer technology.The computers upgraded will be faster and more advanced to meet more demands of people. We will have mini computers with high-speed internet conection that gives us quick access to it any time and any where.
Second of all, the next change I expect from the new century would be the improvements in healthcare as well as medical science. There's some threatening diseases such as cancers and AIDS as we know are still a question that has no answer. I hope in near future of the 21st century there will be medicines and methods of treatment found such diseases.
People will not suffer from these and illnesses any more. As a result, people will be more healthy and their life span will be increased. In addition, I expect more and more artifictial parts of human body will be found and improved to replace ones of some patients.
Finally, the last thing I hope the 21st century will bring to our society is the changes in culture. There will be more new tendencies, new spirits applied in arts, architectures,music and fashion. For instance in music, more and more kinds of music as well as instruments will be invented to adapt to hobbies or ages of people. Adding to these, lifestyles of people in countries will change. That the advances in almost fields in the 21st century make our life more mordern and easier raise some desires.
One of these is that some people want to study abroad or go for a tour to learn more about cultures of others coutries. Those on the one hand receive a new cuture but on the other hand bring their country's culture to the coutry they are in.
In conclusion, I believe the 21st century will bring a lot of changes in almost fields. Hope these will be possitive aspects that give improvements in quality of life.