Posts by phoebecrazyyy

phoebecrazyyy

Jun 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / The obesity among children is becoming an alarming issue in a lot of regions [3]

There are some spelling and grammatical mistakes that I noticed:
Recent evident => evidence
This essay serve => serves
as hamburgers and chip => chips
subtances => substances
Beside => besides
promote => promotes
reasons of obesity => reasons for obesity
serious effects mentions => mentioned
so that parents => so parents

phoebecrazyyy

Jun 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / IELTS TASK 2 ON OVERWEIGHT PEOPLE AND ROLE OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION TO TACKLE THE OBESITY PROBLEM [3]

There are some spelling and grammatical mistakes that I noticed:
overweight people increasing in number leads => lead ( because the subject is a plural noun)
the student's system => the student system
not only school but also parents => schools ( should be written in plural)
contributor of => contributor to

phoebecrazyyy

Jun 14, 2023

Writing Feedback / IELTS 2: In some nations, citizens favor purchasing a home over renting property for some reasons [2]

IN SOME COUNTRIES, OWNING A HOME RATHER THAN RENTING ONE IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR PEOPLE.
WHY MIGHT THIS BE THE CASE? DO YOU THINK THIS IS A POSITIVE OR NEGATIVE SITUATION?

In some nations, citizens favor purchasing a home over renting property for some possible reasons. This essay will consider why this is the case and whether or not this is valuable.

In my own opinion, the most powerful motivator urging people to own a home is the innate desire for stability that is inherited from antiquity to today. Being a homeowner provides a guarantee for one of the most important human basic needs - shelter. To illustrate, the homeowner will feel more secure against unforeseeable obstacles in the future such as unexpectedly losing the job or suddenly suffering a fatal illness. Moreover, many people see home ownership as a profitable investment. Property prices typically go up on a yearly basis. Therefore, they will profit from selling it or earn passive income from leasing property. As proof, my retired relatives were able to afford the living expenses and tuition fees of my cousin in 7 years due to the value of their rental properties.

Nonetheless, home ownership can bring considerable downsides for both individuals and society. Prospective homeowners will struggle to save for a deposit and be burdened with monthly mortgage payments. Failure to make house payments on time can ultimately result in losing their home. Furthermore, it's truly formidable to balance mortgages on the property against other living expenses for many years. For society as a whole, there has been a negative trend. Higher demand for possessing property can engender house price inflation which makes the situation even worsen for potential buyers, especially those who are on low incomes.

In conclusion, aspiration for stability and consideration of investment opportunities are key factors behind the favor of home ownership, but despite these benefits, there are many serious problems.