AnOthEr_bEIng
Nov 21, 2009
Undergraduate / UC prompt 2- Forgotten Passion [2]
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Forgotten Passion
At the end of my eighth grade year, my friend persuaded me to audition for the dance team with her. I thought it seemed interesting so I agreed to go with her. Little did I know, being in the dance team would be one of the best experiences in my life. The exhilarating feelings of being in the spotlight, moving as one body, feeling the adrenaline rush through my body, and hearing the crowd screaming and cheering was addicting. Through the dance team, I learned the importance of team work and I discovered something I am passionate about.
When I was seven, I took jazz classes in Thailand. I pranced around in my tights and ballet flats, and often received compliments from my teacher for picking things up quickly. My dance teacher was someone I looked up to, someone extremely beautiful and kind. However, she quit teaching the class and a new teacher replaced her. I was reluctant to accept the new teacher because I felt like I was betraying my old teacher. Nonetheless, I went and came face-to-face with a male teacher. Slightly intimidated, I stood in line with the rest of the girls. He announced that we will be doing a routine at the end of the course and those who pass the class will perform. Unfortunately, I did not pass. The teacher pulled me aside and told me that I was not ready to perform. I held back my tears and return home humiliated and angry. I never returned to that place again.
For years, I was occupied with my new life and dancing faded to the back of my mind. I forgot the joy I got from dancing. So when I accepted my friend's invitation to audition with her, I was filled with doubt. What if I fail again? What if my friend made it and I did not? These questions plagued my mind. But when the music started playing, my fears went away. My body was moving as if I never stopped dancing. At that moment, I realized that I love dancing.
Being on the dance team was an incredible experience for me. It helped me become more outgoing and confident. At my first pep rally, I awkwardly stood at my team's side while they were cheering wildly, waiting for our turn to perform. Then team captain came up to me and encouraged me to join them. Feeling ridiculously, I weakly joined them, but soon, the contagious excitement reached me and I was cheering just as loudly as the next person. On stage, the rhythm vibrated throughout my body. I felt the eyes of audience and their feeble applause. That year, the team was far from good. However, we continued to work hard at practice and at dance camp and we became better each year.
Although I had to leave the dance team for family reasons, I did not give up on dancing. Currently I am learning how to break dance from a friend during my spare time. The team taught me to never give up and to believe in myself. Because of the team, I became someone who never do things half-hearted and is always looking for ways to improve myself.
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Thank you for reading and helping me with my essay. The main thing that I really want help with is my grammar and which part of the essay to cut down. The word count for the essay itself is 720 words. And if you can give me your opinions on how I can improve this, I really appreciate it!!
Tell us about a personal quality, talent, accomplishment, contribution or experience that is important to you. What about this quality or accomplishment makes you proud, and how does it relate to the person you are?
Forgotten Passion
At the end of my eighth grade year, my friend persuaded me to audition for the dance team with her. I thought it seemed interesting so I agreed to go with her. Little did I know, being in the dance team would be one of the best experiences in my life. The exhilarating feelings of being in the spotlight, moving as one body, feeling the adrenaline rush through my body, and hearing the crowd screaming and cheering was addicting. Through the dance team, I learned the importance of team work and I discovered something I am passionate about.
When I was seven, I took jazz classes in Thailand. I pranced around in my tights and ballet flats, and often received compliments from my teacher for picking things up quickly. My dance teacher was someone I looked up to, someone extremely beautiful and kind. However, she quit teaching the class and a new teacher replaced her. I was reluctant to accept the new teacher because I felt like I was betraying my old teacher. Nonetheless, I went and came face-to-face with a male teacher. Slightly intimidated, I stood in line with the rest of the girls. He announced that we will be doing a routine at the end of the course and those who pass the class will perform. Unfortunately, I did not pass. The teacher pulled me aside and told me that I was not ready to perform. I held back my tears and return home humiliated and angry. I never returned to that place again.
For years, I was occupied with my new life and dancing faded to the back of my mind. I forgot the joy I got from dancing. So when I accepted my friend's invitation to audition with her, I was filled with doubt. What if I fail again? What if my friend made it and I did not? These questions plagued my mind. But when the music started playing, my fears went away. My body was moving as if I never stopped dancing. At that moment, I realized that I love dancing.
Being on the dance team was an incredible experience for me. It helped me become more outgoing and confident. At my first pep rally, I awkwardly stood at my team's side while they were cheering wildly, waiting for our turn to perform. Then team captain came up to me and encouraged me to join them. Feeling ridiculously, I weakly joined them, but soon, the contagious excitement reached me and I was cheering just as loudly as the next person. On stage, the rhythm vibrated throughout my body. I felt the eyes of audience and their feeble applause. That year, the team was far from good. However, we continued to work hard at practice and at dance camp and we became better each year.
Although I had to leave the dance team for family reasons, I did not give up on dancing. Currently I am learning how to break dance from a friend during my spare time. The team taught me to never give up and to believe in myself. Because of the team, I became someone who never do things half-hearted and is always looking for ways to improve myself.
-----
Thank you for reading and helping me with my essay. The main thing that I really want help with is my grammar and which part of the essay to cut down. The word count for the essay itself is 720 words. And if you can give me your opinions on how I can improve this, I really appreciate it!!