Undergraduate / UC prompt #2 The bitter yet sweet taste of Prednisone [11]

Your last paragraph should be revised to make it sound less like a bad thing to take Prednisone.

It almost sounds as though you are addicted to it, as if it was a drug.

Undergraduate / 'I was a corpulent teenager' - UC Personal Statement #1 - Describe your World [4]

There is an overload of vocab in the first few sentences. I had a similar problem in the first paragraph of my essay.

Try to tone it down as I did.

Undergraduate / The effect of the recession - Prompt #1 [3]

Your personal statement seems quite disjointed, you need transitions for the paragraphs to flow better.
Also, avoid addressing the uc system directly because that is not what the prompt is asking of you.