embriatarka
Nov 17, 2009
Undergraduate / UT Introductory statement-"Someone who has made an impact on your life..." [4]
So for my essay, I need to write about someone who has impacted my life and explain why they are important to me. I've chosen to write about my orchestra director that has influenced me to stick with music- I have written my introduction but I feel like something is missing. I'm trying to say that he has taught me many life lessons like patience, honesty, and optimism, but I don't know if I should let on to that in the intro or just introduce it in the body. Any suggestions and/or comments would be great!
Intro: As the final chord was stuck, the four of us look at each other in disbelief- the Borodin Quartet was finished. The piece had truly evolved; from a mousy excuse to get out of class to advancing to the Texas State Solo & Ensemble contest, Quartet no. 2 was mastered. Beginning to end, each note was as flawless as the next. I sat in silence as the judge scribbled away at the score sheet, meticulously describing everything he had heard. After what seemed to be five whole minutes of rampant writing, a disgruntled "Thank you," came from the judge's direction- we took the cue to leave the stark recital room. Mousily slipping through the unwieldy doors, I turned to find, to my relief, our director waiting for us. Always a man of his word, Dr. Kempter promised he would be there for us after our performance. After four years under his direction, Dr. Kempter has taught me many things- most of which apply to life outside of the orchestra hall. He has vastly impacted my life, and I owe many of my life's lessons to him.
So for my essay, I need to write about someone who has impacted my life and explain why they are important to me. I've chosen to write about my orchestra director that has influenced me to stick with music- I have written my introduction but I feel like something is missing. I'm trying to say that he has taught me many life lessons like patience, honesty, and optimism, but I don't know if I should let on to that in the intro or just introduce it in the body. Any suggestions and/or comments would be great!
Intro: As the final chord was stuck, the four of us look at each other in disbelief- the Borodin Quartet was finished. The piece had truly evolved; from a mousy excuse to get out of class to advancing to the Texas State Solo & Ensemble contest, Quartet no. 2 was mastered. Beginning to end, each note was as flawless as the next. I sat in silence as the judge scribbled away at the score sheet, meticulously describing everything he had heard. After what seemed to be five whole minutes of rampant writing, a disgruntled "Thank you," came from the judge's direction- we took the cue to leave the stark recital room. Mousily slipping through the unwieldy doors, I turned to find, to my relief, our director waiting for us. Always a man of his word, Dr. Kempter promised he would be there for us after our performance. After four years under his direction, Dr. Kempter has taught me many things- most of which apply to life outside of the orchestra hall. He has vastly impacted my life, and I owe many of my life's lessons to him.