samicaligirl92
Nov 15, 2009
Undergraduate / UC prompt 1 "Operation Iraqi Freedom" [6]
Please help me with any grammar errors or any revision advice! Thank You!
* means new paragraph
Prompt # 1: Describe the world you come from- for example, your family, community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
* Operation Iraqi Freedom; Some say it is an honor to go to war, but it is a horrible feeling to watch a loved one board the plane. The day my dad got onto that airplane, my life spiraled downward at full speed. I was left with my stepmom to take care of me, which, at the time, I was actually excited about. It was freshman year and I was so excited that my dad was "defending our country". A few days passed, and my stepmother, Michelle, seemed to have everything under control. Until I came home to find out that on her way home from dropping me off at school, she had crashed into a house and nearly died. Not being of age to drive, I ran all the way to Whittier Hospital to find her in ICU, paralyzed. For the next week or so, I practically lived in the ICU hoping things would take a turn for the better.
*I soon found out that she was high on cocaine and she had passed out at the wheel during the accident. Not only was my stepmom a drug addict but my best friend was gone. I counted down the days until my dad got home.
Things only got worse from there, including her drug addiction. Some days I would come home to her overdosing again, and would have to pin her down or keep her from running up and down the streets naked. Then other days I would come home to find her trying to "cut all the drugs out" of her skin with a knife. Slowly things started disappearing from around the house . Apparently, she was selling our belongings for drugs.
*The day of my father's arrival finally came. A few days later, he found out that she spent over $50 thousand and that she was addicted to drugs. Right away, he filed for a divorce only to find out that she was married to two other men in different counties and was taking their money too. The court made us sell our house due to the debt. We had to live with my aunt and start anew. All we had were the clothes on our back. Everything else was gone.
As a fourteen year old, not only was I trying to live my own life, but I had to take care of a grown woman. Because of the chaos that was happening in my personal life, I was unable to stay focused on my school work. My grades suffered drastically and at the end of the first semester, I was no longer eligible to stay in my honors classes. Since then, I have continued to challenge myself and take rigorous courses. I have made a personal commitment, that despite any of any external mishaps, I will try my hardest to be the best that I can possibly be. Having to grow up at a young age was difficult but also benefiting.
* I have learned that although I have encountered misfortune and tragedy in life, I am given two choices; the choice of blaming past events on my failure and going nowhere in life, or the choice of putting it all in the past and succeeding. From this, I am choicing the path of resilience and success.
Please help me with any grammar errors or any revision advice! Thank You!
* means new paragraph
Prompt # 1: Describe the world you come from- for example, your family, community or school- and tell us how your world has shaped your dreams and aspirations.
* Operation Iraqi Freedom; Some say it is an honor to go to war, but it is a horrible feeling to watch a loved one board the plane. The day my dad got onto that airplane, my life spiraled downward at full speed. I was left with my stepmom to take care of me, which, at the time, I was actually excited about. It was freshman year and I was so excited that my dad was "defending our country". A few days passed, and my stepmother, Michelle, seemed to have everything under control. Until I came home to find out that on her way home from dropping me off at school, she had crashed into a house and nearly died. Not being of age to drive, I ran all the way to Whittier Hospital to find her in ICU, paralyzed. For the next week or so, I practically lived in the ICU hoping things would take a turn for the better.
*I soon found out that she was high on cocaine and she had passed out at the wheel during the accident. Not only was my stepmom a drug addict but my best friend was gone. I counted down the days until my dad got home.
Things only got worse from there, including her drug addiction. Some days I would come home to her overdosing again, and would have to pin her down or keep her from running up and down the streets naked. Then other days I would come home to find her trying to "cut all the drugs out" of her skin with a knife. Slowly things started disappearing from around the house . Apparently, she was selling our belongings for drugs.
*The day of my father's arrival finally came. A few days later, he found out that she spent over $50 thousand and that she was addicted to drugs. Right away, he filed for a divorce only to find out that she was married to two other men in different counties and was taking their money too. The court made us sell our house due to the debt. We had to live with my aunt and start anew. All we had were the clothes on our back. Everything else was gone.
As a fourteen year old, not only was I trying to live my own life, but I had to take care of a grown woman. Because of the chaos that was happening in my personal life, I was unable to stay focused on my school work. My grades suffered drastically and at the end of the first semester, I was no longer eligible to stay in my honors classes. Since then, I have continued to challenge myself and take rigorous courses. I have made a personal commitment, that despite any of any external mishaps, I will try my hardest to be the best that I can possibly be. Having to grow up at a young age was difficult but also benefiting.
* I have learned that although I have encountered misfortune and tragedy in life, I am given two choices; the choice of blaming past events on my failure and going nowhere in life, or the choice of putting it all in the past and succeeding. From this, I am choicing the path of resilience and success.
