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Posts by dohkyungsoofc
Name: loicon
Joined: Jun 8, 2024
Last Post: Jun 13, 2024
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: Angola
School: angolahighschool

Displayed posts: 2
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dohkyungsoofc   
Jun 8, 2024
Writing Feedback / unpaid work - compulsory or not [3]

People hold divergent opinions regarding whether community work should be compulsory for teenagers. While some agree with this statement, others argue that public service should be optional. In my final analysis, I am in favor of the latter view.

On the one hand, doing public service in free time may offer some main benefits. Firstly, for individuals, taking part in community service can enhance teenagers' social skills such as planning, money management, and time management. Furthermore, new relationships can be built as people often work in different groups for these services. Secondly, for society, participating in such services can enhance the average standard of living. For example, by introducing such environmental campaigns in many schools in Vietnam, a great quantity of litter has been collected by teenagers across the country. As a result, this method has raised students' awareness about protecting the environment, and air quality in many provinces has improved.

On the other hand, despite having many benefits, I assert that unpaid work should not be mandatory for adolescents. It cannot be denied that these days, students are becoming busier with a huge amount of workload, so they may not have enough leisure time. Therefore, if they are required to do the community service in their free time, they will not have enough time for studying and relaxing. This can lead to adverse effects on their grades as well as their physical and mental health. In addition, public service should be optional, so teenagers could strike a balance between study and extracurricular activities. Another reason for this might be that when children have the ability to choose their appropriate type of community service, they could have the potential to develop their skills.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that public service should be done by volunteers. Although this has significant advantages for individuals and society as a whole, I assert that we should not make it obligatory.
dohkyungsoofc   
Jun 13, 2024
Writing Feedback / unpaid work - compulsory or not [3]

@Holt
so could you examine this essay in all 4 criteria of the ielts writing test? thank you so much for your advice
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