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unpaid work - compulsory or not

dohkyungsoofc 1 / 1  
Jun 8, 2024   #1
People hold divergent opinions regarding whether community work should be compulsory for teenagers. While some agree with this statement, others argue that public service should be optional. In my final analysis, I am in favor of the latter view.

On the one hand, doing public service in free time may offer some main benefits. Firstly, for individuals, taking part in community service can enhance teenagers' social skills such as planning, money management, and time management. Furthermore, new relationships can be built as people often work in different groups for these services. Secondly, for society, participating in such services can enhance the average standard of living. For example, by introducing such environmental campaigns in many schools in Vietnam, a great quantity of litter has been collected by teenagers across the country. As a result, this method has raised students' awareness about protecting the environment, and air quality in many provinces has improved.

On the other hand, despite having many benefits, I assert that unpaid work should not be mandatory for adolescents. It cannot be denied that these days, students are becoming busier with a huge amount of workload, so they may not have enough leisure time. Therefore, if they are required to do the community service in their free time, they will not have enough time for studying and relaxing. This can lead to adverse effects on their grades as well as their physical and mental health. In addition, public service should be optional, so teenagers could strike a balance between study and extracurricular activities. Another reason for this might be that when children have the ability to choose their appropriate type of community service, they could have the potential to develop their skills.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that public service should be done by volunteers. Although this has significant advantages for individuals and society as a whole, I assert that we should not make it obligatory.
Holt  Educational Consultant - / 14,974 4811  
Jun 12, 2024   #2
The writers opinion is clear in the first paragraph. However, you present a contradicting discussion in the reasoning paragraphs. Since this is a single opinion discussion, you are required to present 2 supporting statements for your opinion. By using the comparison discussion format, you have failed to support your opinion. As such, your final score will be based on an under developed discussion presentation, which may be a failing score depending upon what sort of score you will receive for the remaining scoring sections. Your concluding summary is acceptable and meets the concluding summary requirements. It is the reasoning paragraphs that prevented you from achieving a passing score. Always remember that unless specified as a comparison essay, all task 2 essays are single opinion presentations.
OP dohkyungsoofc 1 / 1  
Jun 13, 2024   #3
so could you examine this essay in all 4 criteria of the ielts writing test? thank you so much for your advice

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