Writing Feedback / IELTS: Success has broader definition than the earning power of a person. [8]

hi all,

this is my first IELTS essay. it took me more time than given but think i can improve on timing. appreciate your valuable feedback.

ONLY people who earn a lot of money are successful. Do you agree or disagree with this definition of success? Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Some people say, those who earned or who has lot of money are the ones who are success in their lives.Some argue the success couldn't be measured by the amount of money one earned in his life.In my opinion success has broader definition than the earning power of a person.

First of all, isn't it possible to someone to be success without money?Lord Buddha who was one of the greatest religious leaders in earth, became success after he has realized the truth of life. He taught what he realized to thousands of people and let them follow his path to 'Nirwana'. But did lord Buddha have lot of money by the time he achieved his success? Does money helped him to realize the truth and thereby to achieve what we believe as the greatest success one could have in this earth?

Take another example from the life of Thomas Alva Edison; who was an American inventor developed many devices that greatly influenced the life around the world including the electric light bulb. Does anyone treat him as a failure? He is one of the most successful scientist and an inventor in the world. Does anyone going to argue on his success? Was money behind his success? Was he born to a rich family and therefore let him do all these inventions? No. There's no relationship with money and his inventions. Of course his inventions made him rich. But no one say money made him success.

Above are two great examples which support the fact that money is not a necessary factor for one to become success.

Secondly, does all who earn or who has lot of money can be considered as success?Imagine a person who is rich but not having a happy family life for some reason. He fights everyday with his wife and his children are not listening to him. Can we think him as success?

Similarly, consider a person who has lot of money but suffering from a deadly disease which has no cure. Even though he has money in his bank, he cannot use it to save his life. Will anyone say that he is success in his life?

Likewise, there are enough and more examples which exemplify the fact that amount of money are not the only definition of success. Money could be a factor when defining success; but it's not the one and only one.

Writing Feedback / Creativity is much more needed process today to survive the future of mankind [7]

hi all,

this is my second essay. appreciate your valuable feedback

Creativity is a mental and social process involving the generation of new ideas and concepts in order to fulfill a need or desire. It is not a new process at all. Since the beginning of their first generation, human being was creative. It's their creativity made this world developed to what it is today. But I believe that creativity is much needed today than ever before.

First of all, the natural resources becoming more and more scarce than past. For example, the number of water resources which can be consumed by the human being has become lesser and lesser over the past few years. There are plenty of rivers and lakes over the world which is of no use today, due to water pollution. Some of the water resources have vanished at all due to different reasons. Similar to water, land is yet another natural resource which we are running short of now. Research shows that as per the growing demand, by the 2100 there will be no single inch of land can be found on earth which is suitable for human use. Land and water are just two resources which are scarce and we need to protect for future use. There are plenty of these kinds and it is therefore a must to come up with creative ideas to save the natural resources for our future generations. Techniques or methodologies used earlier to preserve these become not adequate by now and need much more creative thinking to utilize the scarce resources in more efficient way.

Secondly, the human being has evolved over the time and so do the diseases which threaten the human life. HIV, bird's flu and swine flu are few of the deadly diseases which spread across the world during the last few years. We are facing the threat from numerous diseases now than our ancestors came across past. As a result, we as humans need to put lot of creativity to find cure for fight against these deadly diseases.

Competition is yet another reason results in creativity than ever before. Competition is everywhere. In school, in workspace and even among some countries around the globe, creativity is promoted. We have reached to a stage where an individual or a nation who is more creative can survive in this ever competitive world; which was not the situation few hundred years before.

Last, in my view, as a one big nation, mankind has reached to a certain level today. They have invented heap of technologies, equipments, methodologies and processes for the good of human being. Some of these inventions reached beyond the world we live. For example stepping in to the moon, inventions made in the outer space are few. But will this be enough for the future? I think what is left is hardest. What is remain to do will take more time and more effort than it took to achieve what we have today. That's where the creativity comes in to play. Human being need to be more creative than ever before to take up these challenges.

In conclusion, even though the creativity is not something new or not something our ancestors haven't had, it is much more needed process today to survive the future of man kind