Unanswered [6] | Urgent [0]
  

Posts by ethelion
Joined: Dec 13, 2009
Last Post: Dec 18, 2009
Threads: 1
Posts: 3  

Displayed posts: 4
sort: Oldest first   Latest first  | 
ethelion   
Dec 13, 2009
Undergraduate / BU supp: Why are you interested in BU and 3 words to describe you best [10]

In five or six sentences, tell us how you first became interested in BU and what steps you have taken to learn more about us.

BU's quaint and picturesque campus along Charles River left me a deep impression when I vacationed at Boston two years ago. It spurred me to visit BU's school website to learn more about the school where I found out that BU has so much to offer: an all-rounded education, a vibrant student life and a wide exposure to the arts and culture. I also visited online forums to learn what current students had to say about their experience at BU to gain insights like the experience of living on campus and what classes and professors are like. All these confirmed my decision to apply to BU and now, two years down the road, I would love to stroll along Charles River, not as a tourist but as a student of BU.

Essay #1: In an essay of no more than 500 words, please select three words that describe you best and tell us how you will use these qualities/characteristics to contribute fully to the BU community.

When I was a little girl, I watched "Beauty and the Beast" more than a dozen times because I absolutely adored Belle. She was smart, sophisticated and studious and I saw her as the type of girl I wanted to be when I grew up. But as I grew older, I realized that Disney portrayed her as someone who was too perfect to be realistic. It made me see that being me was more important than striving to be like a fictional character. I am not like Belle but instead, the acronym U.V.T---Unique, Vivacious and Tenacious would better describe me.

E.E Cummings once said, "It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are." This was one of the quotes my parents wrote on my 13th birthday card, the age where I entered my adolescence. I guess part of them hope them I would move on from Disney princesses to discovering who I really wanted to be. Through the years, I slowly gained the courage to be unique and simply be myself. I speak English, Chinese and French, play the piano, adore watching "oldies" movies and reading chic-lit books. This is me. I want to study Finance at BU School of Management as I aspire to be a business leader with the ability to influence society and set up a non-profit organisation in future. I know it might sound too idealistic. But I dare to be different, dare to dream and I believe I can contribute to the diversity at BU.

"You have such a vivacious personality." This is a phrase that I commonly hear from those around me. My lively disposition often brings much laughter to friends and family alike and I believe that at BU, I can inject the same energy and enthusiasm in others, both in and beyond the classroom. At BU, I plan to join the Asian Student Union and other extracurricular activities that will give me the opportunity to interact with people from diverse backgrounds. In whatever activities that I participate, I want to bring out the passion in others and spur them on to do their best.

I always strive to be tenacious when met with an obstacle or difficulty. "To always have tenacity" is a phrase that I constantly say to myself. It has reminded me to keep moving forward and never giving up even when all seems bleak. My dad was diagnosed with the eye disease, Glaucoma just last year and being tenacious taught me never to give up hope but to stand together with him to fight this disease. The spirit of always having tenacity is something that I wish to share with the BU community. I want to motivate others to never give up and to always believe in themselves.

I know I am definitely not Belle but I'm proud to be myself-unique, vivacious and tenacious. I have so much to contribute to BU and I know I can make BU proud that I was a student.
ethelion   
Dec 14, 2009
Undergraduate / BU supp: Why are you interested in BU and 3 words to describe you best [10]

Thanks for the comments! i really appreciate them.

describe yourself as Unique, Vivacious, and Tenacious, however, I only grasped the ideas that support your indiviudality/uniqueness through context, there was no direct paragraph for it like there was for tenacity/vivacious, was that purposeful or did you leave it out ?

To your question, i purposeful left it out cause if i spend every para first explaining each character trait, then i would have exceeded the word count and i wanted to keep the focus also on contributing back to BU. I'm not too sure whether that is ok though.

Sorry, but what is the point of connecting Belle to the acronym?
It just seems unnecessary.

To your question, i wanted to use Belle as an intro to say how am i different from her and in what way.
ethelion   
Dec 14, 2009
Undergraduate / "Checkmate!" Shogi, or Chinese Chess Common App Essay! [4]

Thanks for leaving comments for mine, so i'm returning the favour.
Your english is really not bad for someone whose english is their second language. I changed only parts that i thought sounded awkward or just some words which i thought other words would be more apt. Its just my opinion so yeah.

* his red king to avoid the check.
** his red king to avoid the checkmate

*put on my devilish smile
Put on sounds a bit awkward, maybe "let out a devilish smile" would be better instead

*a lingering effect of the stroke
** a lingering effect from the stroke

*Promise me you will conquer the world like this king, no matter how difficult it seems and how many tries it takes,"
** No matter how difficult it seems and how many tries it takes, promise me that you will conquer the world like this king.

* face was pale like a ghost
** as pale as a ghost

* It was hard for me
** It was difficult for me

*I dreaded the fact that he would be staying at my house.
** I dreaded the fact that he would even be staying at my house.

* Through a common hobby, we were able to establish a special relationship very quickly
** Through a common hobby, we were able to quickly establish a special relationship

*Not only was I able to bond with my grandfather in a short amount of time, but I was also able to be mature as I played more games with him. I learned to be patient; I had to grow accustomed to sitting in front of the game board, thinking of my next move while I waited for my grandfather to make his move. I also had to get used to accepting losses which was a hard for me because I was so hot-headed and stubborn.

** Not only was I able to bond with my grandfather in a short amount of time, but I was also able to become more mature as I played more games with him.

I don't have time to change this part for you but it doesn't really flow??

*he felt homesick and wanted to go back to Korea.
**he felt homesick and wanted to return to Korea.

.*On the day he left, we both made another promise that we would both stay healthy until I visited him.
** On the day of his departure, we promised each other that we would both stay healthy until I had the opportunity to pay him a visit

.
*Every morning, I open my closet and I am instantly reminded of the promise I had made with my grandfather.
**Every morning when I open my closet, I am instantly reminded of the promise I had made with my grandfather.

*This king is my motivation and my source of energy.
**This king is my motivation and source of energy.
Need Writing or Editing Help?
Fill out one of these forms:

Graduate Writing / Editing:
GraduateWriter form ◳

Best Essay Service:
CustomPapers form ◳

Excellence in Editing:
Rose Editing ◳

AI-Paper Rewriting:
Robot Rewrite ◳

Academic AI Writer:
Custom AI Writer ◳