Undergraduate / "new experiences with an open mind" - emory supplementt im applying ED [6]

One of the many exception aspects about Emory is the manner by which students are selected. During the info session I attended it was greatly emphasized that applications are taken very seriously; they aren't just read over, but they are analyzed. Admissions officers seek students who have that spark; that sincere love for learning that will best contribute to the vitality and diversity of the student body. Thus, I can be certain that the community at Emory is comprised of well rounded individuals whose unique passions and backgrounds have played an important role in their admission.

Another aspect of Emory I find compelling is its competitive NCAA Division III varsity athletic programs. Since my sophomore year, I have competed on the cross country and track teams and find that being an athlete has kept me disciplined and added structure to my routine. I would like my sport to continue to supplement my academics, rather than consume them. Emory offers the opportunity for a solid balance of academic excellence and strong intercollegiate athletic competition.

All my experiences, profound, routine, and otherwise are intimations of my whole person. As I advance to the next chapter of my life, I strive to approach new experiences with an open mind; to allow every person I meet, each place I visit contribute to my world view as I endeavor through life. At Emory, I would immerse myself in the ambient community through Volunteer Emory, Outdoor Emory, and form an unmatched...

i tried to mention unique emory programs toward the end...is this convincing at all?

Undergraduate / "a true Floridian" - Bates vitality essay [4]

I consider myself a true Floridian. My winter coat is made of denim, my snow is the white caps on ocean waves, and my favorite Christmas tradition is going to the beach.

Florida summers, with their intense heat and humidity, fall under the classification of "extreme weather conditions" and I thrive in them. Sub tropical living has taught me to persevere through even the most extreme weather; using it to my advantage. I have learned to adapt: to transform the sun's rays into surges of vigor, exploit the medicinal qualities of the Atlantic's warm salt water, and appreciate the lubricating qualities of smothering humidity on my skin. Maine winters are just as intense as Florida summers, and I intend to conquer them, too. I'll learn to keep my footing on slippery frozen trails, use "Under Armor" appropriately, and find some benefit in the frequent storms that invade Maine from Canada.

By physically and mentally pressing on in an environment that make others give in, I have gained a resilience that will translate to success during my years at Bates. I've run 5K road races in 97 degree heat; run intervals at four in the afternoon in western Palm Beach County and prepared for state-wide races during a record-setting November heat wave. By practicing in predictable extremes, I've prepared myself to meet unpredictable challenges. As a member of the Bates community, I will become the personification of fortitude. Molded by Florida summers and bedecked by Maine winters, my commitment to academic and athletic excellence will be immovable. By example I'll encourage peers to defy stereotypes and discover themselves in the process.

what do you think?