Undergraduate / "I'm not afraid of falling into my inkpot" --Princeton essay [4]

I feel you could maybe add some imagery to the introduction in order to catch the reader right off the bat, because the rest of your essay has lots of it. Maybe add a quote of what your mother would of told you, it may make it more personal.

Check out my essay if you get a chance

Undergraduate / Rice University is ranked for best quality of life and fifteenth for happiest students. I wonder why [10]

"Because of its small size, Rice has an excellent college system."

I feel you could maybe add some more description and tell what's excellent about the college system