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Posts by VANESSAPHAM12
Joined: Dec 28, 2009
Last Post: Jan 1, 2010
Threads: 2
Posts: 14  
From: VIETNAM

Displayed posts: 16
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VANESSAPHAM12   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / IS PHYSICS A WOMAN THING?- MY COMMON APP ESSAY. [7]

A lot of people told me not to post my essay to the public because of plagiarism, but I just have read many posts on this site and it's pretty much close to my deadline already so I just need someone help me with this.

WARNING: THIS ESSAY IS RIDICULOUSLY LONG! 1240 WORDS, PLEASE HELP ME TO CUT IT DOWN.
Is Physics a woman thing?

I always find it amusing to look at people's expressions when I tell them I not only major in Business Studies but also in Physics. The first reason for such reactions is, perhaps, because the two courses seem pretty much unrelated, but what causes them even more surprise is simply because I'm a girl.Very often, my mother reminded me of how difficult it is for a woman to be successful in natural science ,and that, as a female, perhaps, I should have found my interest in a "less mechanical" subject. Her notion urged me to wonder why I enjoy Physics that much, while most of my girl friends would rather not hear a word about it.

I will not deny the many statistics that prove the dominant number of males who master in this field. However, I do argue that there should be no possible boundary that stops us females from inquiring into Physics, the so-called a guy thing. In my A level Physics class, there are only three girls, including myself. The boys often make fun that we are not feminine enough to study other subjects, and of course, such a statement could always ignite a debate. What makes people think that Physics always appears dull to the female? Is it true that only men can excel in this subject? I have always been asking myself those questions.

I still remember my first day entering an IGCSE Physics lesson, where everything was so foreign. The class size was moderate compared to that of other subjects. Most of the students were boys and they all seemed to understand quite a significant portion of the theory already. On the other hand, I was uncertain about everything. My English was so weak that I could not understand half a page of the assignment. The subject teacher, at the time, Mr.Randell, was a middle aged, wise, yet sharp man, and a strict disciplinarian. His face always wore a signature frown; he rarely smiled. He made me feel afraid to ask questions, but, then again, my vocabulary was too limited for myself to make sensible communication. Within the next few months, I was frightened to face my teacher, knowing that he would soon discover my inability. Of course, he did, and frequently I was called up to the board to solve challenging questions.. The intense pressure was enough to make me want to drop the subject. But then, a week before our first exam, Mr.Randell asked me to see him after school. He gave me a Physics dictionary, a pack of notes with many illustrating diagrams. "There", he said. " You need more vision, more passion and more belief."

At that very moment, I realized that I had let myself be held back so long by the fear of failure. Being encouraged, I was motivated to develop the necessary skills to tackle rigorous challenges that this subject has to offer. I continued to make mistakes, but I never ceased to learn. It took me a significant time, but eventually I became one of the top scorers in my class. My improvement might have been slow, but it created a firm foundation for my interest in Physics to flourish. It has given me the great power to penetrate and discover the world around myself, the world inside me, and the world beyond me. It created a habit in me for logic, and gave me the ability to visualize concepts. It satisfied my curiosity, while, at the same time, raised my want to explore and inquire into matter and phenomena. It urged me to wonder how the bulb glows, to detect what would cause my printer to stop working, to work three days non-stop to build a car model that ran by the force of elastic bands and a mouse trap!

However, what interests me the most about Physics is actually the many experiments that we got to conduct. I will never forget how much fun we had when my teacher introduced us to the Van de Graaff generator, when everybody was fighting to touch the aluminum ball just to see our hair stand on end. What I see is that Physics is not just about spending hours on calculation books, rushing through stacks of analysis papers and projects. Its core actually emphasizes the discovery of wonderful things in life.

Speaking like that does not mean I never had any problem with Physics experiments.Before developing my attention and joy for this subject, I always thought that experiments are unnecessary. Why bother conducting them while the answers are already there in your text book? Plus, I have never been that dexterous when working in the lab. In fact, even when I have become capable in solving skills and understanding scientific concepts, and methods, sometimes, I still got in big trouble with the apparatuses.Hence, my temporary solution was to avoid it as much as I could. I always just sketched out diagrams and wrote down what I expected to happen according to the theory. There, much easier! However, my teacher was never satisfied with my 'method'. He urged me to carry out the experiment myself, as he often said: "Let's the world surprises you." So it did. My first experiment disappointed me. My results were nothing close to the theory. It has shaken my utter belief in every scientific fact. "Was it me or was it the experiment that failed?" I asked myself. That question stirred my interest. I started to perform many trials and record errors of any experiment I carried. I tested different methods, feeling hungry to find out what caused my results to go against the theory. Then, I realized that everything was built up from hypotheses, the reason why science has its place in our lives is because nothing is absolute, science is not for us to believe, but for us to challenge the prediction itself through experimentation. While the theory teaches me what happens and what, as a physicist, I should believe in, the experimental side reminds me to justify, to bound back, and to question the angle of accuracy of the theory. Most of the time, our experiments conform to the theory, but there would be times for them to oppose one another, just like the common notion that females never enjoy science, when in reality, many of them do.

In the three and a half year period I have so far spent majoring in Physics, there have been many obstacles and challenges I have encountered. I would say this subject is not easy and, admittedly, as a female myself, I have a few times thought of moving away from it.However, I never did, simply because I have been lucky enough to explore the beauty under its rigid appearance. It has taught me many things that have gone beyond scientific facts that, I believe, no other subject would have offered. Yes, Physics indeed has colored my world and given me the opportunity to widen my horizons and to think differently. Without this subject, I would have never developed personal resilience, but most importantly, I would never have realized that there is no such thing that should remain exclusively a guy's activity. I believe that if the males can do something, we females definitely should not be afraid to give it a try. After all,if Einstein were a female, would you say that Physics is not a woman thing?
VANESSAPHAM12   
Dec 31, 2009
Scholarship / Holt Endowed scholarship essay - VIETNAM CAN DO [4]

There is a story that I heard once where two successful business men in Masan-one of a core Food Export Cooperation in Vietnam shared with each other: "

Even though USA imported tons of products that made in China, most of the brandsare owned by American co-operation.

When I arrived to (in) America,

Unlike my country economic (economy)

where businessesare more concentrate in being acknowledged by foreign market

most of the brands are owned by American co-operation.

Not only that (you might want to delete this and replace it with "FURTHERMORE" to avoid the word 'that' being repeated too closely) , another misconception that exists in the market is best-selling trends

the term "Vietnamese style" does not exist because simply (simply because)

particularly teenager and celebrities who still influenced with the idea that have (who have to?) to use foreign brands to be in trend.

Sorry, I'm a bit tired to read the rest. But that's pretty much it so far.
VANESSAPHAM12   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / "Manure" OR "A life of crime" - Common App Essay [3]

I personally prefer the second one. It is honest, hilarious and indeed different. I know it's risky because you are revealing your 'bad record'. But how many essays dare to show that?

Then again, think of this: Does it reflect who you are? How much of the side of your personality that you want the admission office to see has been revealed by your essay? But for your safety, I'd just submit the first one, even though I think you can make it a bit longer.

If you'd be kind to look at mine as well:
VANESSAPHAM12   
Dec 31, 2009
Undergraduate / IS PHYSICS A WOMAN THING?- MY COMMON APP ESSAY. [7]

Woa! Your Einstein bit is cool! I wish I've posted this on early so I could have applied it somewhere in my essay!

Thank a lot.

Happy New Year to you as well :)!
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / AT THE 217TH PAGE, ANOTHER CHANCE BEGUN.-PENN U SUPPLEMENT ESSAY [13]

I understand how silly it is for me to post this only today and this is my first draft believe me or not. Why? Read the essay you will understand.

Please comment, I will return your favor.
Thanks
TOPIC: You have just completed your 300-page autobiography. Please submit page 217.

"Forget it." He put down his half-smoked cigarette and headed out of the room, waving the shape of the letter 'L' with his fingers - "Loser". I remained frozen on the edge of my chair, staring at the college list, wondering what had gone wrong? Just yesterday, I thought that I knew what I was doing. The truth was I had seen nothing yet. Closing my eyes, I realized that, only two weeks before my university deadlines, my chances happened to be thinner than a spider's thread.

"Yeah, life is unfair. But isn't it a good thing? You can govern it your way, but don't ever forget the price you will have to pay for your actions", said my father. I hated to admit it, but my old man was right. I had miscalculated the costs this time. You have seen me. Throughout my high school years, my head was all about planning. I had got mired in endless competitions. I struggled but I won. Now, I had fallen. When people said I had to choose between my A Levels and the SAT, I thought they were trying to provoke me. Was there anything I could not do? So I assumed. I never had enough time for both, but then I made time. I raced at school so I would have a few hours after mid-night to at least absorb some SAT vocabulary and skim through reading passages. My confidence told me that I should be fine. Yes, everything was 'under control' until I realized my exam schedule. Only one day after my SAT test, it would be the start of semester exam week. My solution? More coffee, less sleep. Suffering constant stress, my attitude became worse than that of the grumpy lady in our school office. I could hardly involve in the activities I usually take part in.But if that was all it took, I would be more than willing.

December 4th , 2009, eighteen more hours till my SAT, my eye lids hardly moved. My whole body turned hot, but not with energy. I had a fever, but at the back of my head, I was thinking about Physics formulae. The next morning, I missed many questions in the Critical Reading section as I had to lay my head on the table every so often. My exam week was more or less of the same bad luck. As I walked back home after my last test, I could flaming tear burning my cheeks. It was not bad luck, it was my complacency. I guess failure teaches me more effectively than glory.

"If I were you, I would remove University of Penn from your list. You lost it, dear". As I digested every word of my sister, I slowly deleted my ultimate goal from the common application. You don't believe it? Yes, I did it with my own fingers and my head was completely sane.

As I passed over the playground, a soccer ball flew in my direction. As I kicked it hard, a voice chimed: "I thought you'd forgotten how to shoot already!" Standing only a few feet away, my friend peered directly at me: " You are a loser, only for letting yourself down..." Before letting him finish his sentence, with adrenalin racing through my veins impulsively, I ran, not away from the reality of his words, but this time, back to face it.

"Friday, 1/1/2010", I read on my calendar, less than eight hours to go till the gate would be closed forever. My diary was opened to the page when I first entered grade six; it said: "Today, the girl next to me asked if I am dumb. She called me stupid and everybody laughed. I will show them who is stupid." The little girl's voice ran inside my head. It was neither my score nor my misstep that proved I did not deserve University of Penn, it was the fact that I had lost my belief in it.

With the common application website on my screen, a blank Microsoft word page in front of me,I began.
Another journey, so it said.
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / My jail - common app essay (crit for crit) [24]

@ THE NYU SUPPLEMENT POST:

It is creative, it is good that you stay away from Fifth Avenue and Broadway, etc. By the time the office read to your essay, they might die if they have to see any of that again.

The way you opened your answer is interesting as well. At least, I know it is different from the many others I have read.

Now, the only problem is your answer still sounds a bit abstract. What else you want to do with Whoopi Goldberg other than that? :)

If you would have a look at mine as well
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / My jail - common app essay (crit for crit) [24]

Yes, I see your point.

But do not worry, there are four of these random pieces (I am applying to NYU as well. I submitted it just yesterday) so you can still have the other three if this one does not satisfy the office of admission.

I personally think the poem and the movie part are the climax of creativity.

Do you have to submit your common app application for NYU today as well? Because I havent seen a deadline for that from NYU.
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / AT THE 217TH PAGE, ANOTHER CHANCE BEGUN.-PENN U SUPPLEMENT ESSAY [13]

OMG! THAT BAD? LIKE 1900! VERY BAD! I KNOW! I NEVER STUDIED SAT BEFORE BECAUSE I STUDY IN THE UK SYSTEM. I HARDLY KNEW OF IT UNTIL..IT BECAME TOO LATE. ACTUALLY, I DID NOT PLAN TO GO TO THE USA. BUT YEAH, I CHANGED MY MIND.

NOT REALLY 8 HOURS, I HOPE. Otherwise I still have a whole compulsory essay to make.

Thank alot for your help
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / NYU Supplement Shorts Answers- Summer Vacation, Famous New Yorker, Movie [5]

I like this, very chic and entertaining, but consider this only as my personal opinion, I think a lot, if not too many, people will write about: Lady Gaga, Carrie Bradshaw or the casts of Sex and the City, and of course, actors/actresses of Gossip Girl.

Think about it, most people will write about shopping at Manhattan's finest stores, Broadway, Empire State of Building, blah. My point is that you don't want the readers, when it comes to your turn, feel that they already have too many of that generic piece of idea. Be different and unique, so they will not forget your essay.

Also: "perusing" is not a correct word to use in that case :). (perusing Manolo Blahnik). Try: exploring, etc.

Good job overall. I also apply to NYU :)

If you'd be kind enough to check my U of Penn supplement as well.
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / AT THE 217TH PAGE, ANOTHER CHANCE BEGUN.-PENN U SUPPLEMENT ESSAY [13]

I understand that as well. That is also my concern, as you correctly phrase it: "a procrastinator".

However, it is just the truth of what happened. I really want to move the date but if I did, it lost the impulsion.

Thank a lot for your comment.
VANESSAPHAM12   
Jan 1, 2010
Undergraduate / UPenn Page 217 - my life in Paris :) [4]

Nicely written. I absolutely enjoy reading it. Most of the mistakes, if any, have been corrected by dpi2010 so yeah. I guess you got it there :). Just out of interest, which major you are applying to. Because I guess that it has something to do with language and writing. If not, my bad :).

Bdw, can you please have a look at mine, it is quite a mess:
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