Undergraduate / the biomedical program, What makes the University of Rochester good fit for you? [4]

I think instead of saying "research to be done," it would be better to show that you look forward to the many research opportunities...make it sound less like it's necessary work and more of your personal interest.

Also, don't say you want to show your intellect to others, because that makes you sound snobby and prideful.

Sorry if I was too straight forward.

Hope this helps and good luck! :)

Undergraduate / NYU supplement- 2050 movie, May 21, 2027 [7]

Winning the money for cancer research sounds a little generic. After all, isn't that what all researchers dream of?

Try something on a more personal level?

good luck!