Writing Feedback / Toefl essay: Students learn better when they are not threatend [4]

Plz revise my essay,
I really need help!
thanks
"Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
Students learn better when they are not threatened with possible failure.
Use reasons and specific examples to support your opinion."

I agree that not to be threatened with failure is really important about the students . while some people believe that education system needs something called failure , I am going to explain some reasons in order to support my opinion.

First of all , certainly all of us have experienced that being threatened makes students feel stressed and this way reduce brain's ability to reflect its information .

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