Undergraduate / Common App (Elaborate on an Activity -Music) [3]

This is my elaboration on a personal activity. Can you give me any pointers please.

Music is my life. Writing and listening to it gives me an indescribable positive feeling. I wake up, eat,work, study, and sleep with melodies in my head. While I was growing up in my mom's belly, my father used to place the stereo close to her. I always had wondered if that's the reason why I like music so much. I wanted to be a professional singer but hearing myself sing in the shower quickly changed my mind. Music makes my day. It can change my moods, emotions and thoughts in a snap. When I'm sad it makes me happy, if I'm distracted it helps me focus. I think that without music my little platonic world wouldn't exist. Even thought I might never be a recording artist, if there is music in my life, there is one more reason to keep me going. (149 words)