Undergraduate / How to start a Letter of Appeal (so that it's not over dramatic)? [10]

Hrrrm, I see I see! Thanks for your inputs guys!! :))

I wrote some part of it today and I was wondering if anyone can I revise the letter?

That would be beyond awesome! :)))

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Furthermore, I am very interested in your school because of the opportunity to experience a week-long international study trip in schools in Asia and Europe-two of my favorite destinations. I am interested in international business culture, and I am always ready to see the global business in a different perspective. I am driven and motivated to try new experiences as I have in the past. For example, since I applied to your school, I have competed in the Northern California Leadership Development Conference (LDC) for DECA (Distributive Education Clubs of America), an association of marketing students. This is the first I participated in this event and was placed in the top 10 finalists among other different schools. I spend this time designing a new training program for the Westin St. Francis Hotel located in San Francisco for the Hospitality and Tourism Operations (HOR) event. My teammates and I conducted interview questions to interview the Human Resources Manager and developed a survey for employees. I devote this time by preparing charts, verifying schedules, following up on any issues, and writing a written report on the new training program. With so much time given to DECA, I still kept my grades up and received the highest G.P.A. of my four years during high school=4.2. Continuing to work in the foundation of this degree is an important part of my goals. I know I can be an asset to UC Irvine because of my commitment to your Merage School's visionary curriculum and other programs with similar goals.

Personally, UC Irvine is not too far away from my parent's home where I can visit them occasionally. I want to be close to my parents throughout my college experience because they are a huge priority for me. Knowing that my parents are close enough to me, I can do a much better job in The Paul Merage School of Business. I can also help my mother's small local business branch out with the new knowledge and experiences I will gain. Not only is UC Irvine closet to my parents, many of family members reside nearby and will be a great support system for me.

I believe I would be a great strength for the UC Irvine, The Paul Merage School of Business class of 2014. UC Irvine curriculum is well-matched to my goals and learning techniques. I can be a valuable student in the abundant opportunities offered by your school. I am confident your school can help me succeed as the first generation college student to graduate in becoming an excellent entrepreneur your school can be proud to claim as alumni. If you have any questions or need any additional information, please contact me or e-mail me. Thank you for your time and consideration.