Writing Feedback / Not only women but also men have to take care of their children [7]

"Fatherhood ought to be emphasised as much as motherhood. The idea that women are solely responsible for deciding whether or not to have babies leads on to the idea that they are also responsible for bringing the children up'. To what extent do you agree or disagree?"

Some people think that women are wholly responsible for rearing children. Nevertheless, others, myself included, hold the opinion that men play a role as important as the role played by women in raising their children. This essay looks at ideas in favour of fatherhood.

Firstly, children are the results of love and combination between both men and women. In a consequency, not only women but also men have to take care of their children. Furthermore, children will develop fully and highly when they are looked after by both parents.

Secondly, fathers effect on their children in a different way when compared with mothers. Fathers have their own strategy for teaching their children. Besides, fathers are more relaxed than mothers when their children run into a trouble. They try to find a best way to solve it instead of getting tense.

Finally, men should have time to be with their children since they will have a deeper connection. It is also a good way to build up relationships of family members.

Please check this essay for me.
Thank you so much.

Writing Feedback / (Disease) Prevention is better than cure. [6]

Prevention is better than cure.
I completely accede to this state because of some reasons.
Firstly, If people know how to prevent diseases such as cleaning hands regularly, eating a large amount of fruits and vegetables, doing exercises, do not smoke or drink alcohol much...they will be healthy and happy. Consequently, they are full of energy to do whatever they want. On the contrary, if they do not care about how to avoid sickness, then when they get sick, that wil cause them many problems. For instance, they have to suffer from plenty of pain. If worst comes to worst, illness can lead to death.

Secondly, it is so good if every one prevent diseases by being examined by the doctors frequently as many serious sickness can be cured successfully when dected in an incipient stage. Moreover, ill health can make people get into financial problems since treating process usually costs a gigantic amount of money.

Generally speaking, every one should find out good ways to avoid illnesses rather than cure them.