baohuy
Jul 7, 2010
Writing Feedback / Topic: Events bring people together. [8]
Topic: Events bring people together.
after edits:
Though there might be conflicts in professional or career related issues, most people often misunderstood the meaning of events from common like the usual leisure activities to rare including the world up as something that they could take amusement, anxiety, or keenness along with their stressful and busy daily lives. In fact, events could do more than they have expected, and bringing people together is one of its most illustrious examples in family, society, country, and other circumstances.
It's well known fact that almost all families have internal argument or even worst, unexpected division. This also occurs in companies, friendship and those with romantic relationship, which causes lots of troubles to either themselves or their relatives. Consequently, some common events such as the Christmas holiday or familiars have a very high chance to soften their frustration, easing their temporarily pointless anger, and show them that once something had gone, it could be impossible to reclaim. Therefore, giving them a remembering-for-life experience and bringing them together for the sack of their own good.
Secondly, in large events such as the one-per-four-year's world cup is an opportunity for all nations to put aside their differences and head on to this worldwide phenomenon in order to prove and blow-in fame for themselves and their country, no matter if there were any national contradiction between them. Likewise, socialization in society is another thing for us to consider. As usual events in leisure activities could make two complete strangers or a couple becomes close friends of each other, just with some conversations or discussions. In short, events often get people to know each other better and endure sportsmanship, friendship and so on.
In conclusion, besides cheering us up, events also have a hard-to-recognize value. It's the usefulness of bringing people together in a considerable number of aspects in our daily lives.
Please correct and mark my essay.
Thank you so much.
Topic: Events bring people together.
after edits:
Though there might be conflicts in professional or career related issues, most people often misunderstood the meaning of events from common like the usual leisure activities to rare including the world up as something that they could take amusement, anxiety, or keenness along with their stressful and busy daily lives. In fact, events could do more than they have expected, and bringing people together is one of its most illustrious examples in family, society, country, and other circumstances.
It's well known fact that almost all families have internal argument or even worst, unexpected division. This also occurs in companies, friendship and those with romantic relationship, which causes lots of troubles to either themselves or their relatives. Consequently, some common events such as the Christmas holiday or familiars have a very high chance to soften their frustration, easing their temporarily pointless anger, and show them that once something had gone, it could be impossible to reclaim. Therefore, giving them a remembering-for-life experience and bringing them together for the sack of their own good.
Secondly, in large events such as the one-per-four-year's world cup is an opportunity for all nations to put aside their differences and head on to this worldwide phenomenon in order to prove and blow-in fame for themselves and their country, no matter if there were any national contradiction between them. Likewise, socialization in society is another thing for us to consider. As usual events in leisure activities could make two complete strangers or a couple becomes close friends of each other, just with some conversations or discussions. In short, events often get people to know each other better and endure sportsmanship, friendship and so on.
In conclusion, besides cheering us up, events also have a hard-to-recognize value. It's the usefulness of bringing people together in a considerable number of aspects in our daily lives.
Please correct and mark my essay.
Thank you so much.