Undergraduate / survival situations - Short Essay Commonapp [7]

Hello, Im from Colombia thus my grammar in english is bad. So i'll be very grateful if someone can help me with my short essay, here is:

"Surviving on a mountain with a group of friends using only some abstract skills, one tends to anticipate death; the death of his friends or worse, his own. Overcoming obstacles in such expeditions is a challenging experience, but one that is entirely feasible. Such was my experience with a group of intimate friends with whom I managed to successfully complete the excursion. With us was member of the Scouts of Colombia, my sister.

Since I had never been in a situation requiring survival skills, the journey was one full of lessons. I learned that the first obstacles are often fought mentally; tenacity is a skill required to cope in extreme situations. Being within the group gave us a chance to learn from each other: the value of friendship and respect for nature. I discovered a side of myself I never knew existed; an inclination towards risky situations and the ability to take charge. When we had to cross a flowing river, I naturally led the way, navigating through the rapids. When everyone followed me, I was very pleased; they trusted me.

The company that I had in this situation was critical as it was with some friends and my sister, at that time the friendship becomes an unbeatable value. In some cases the eyes of your friends become our own eyes, for example in the serious mistake we made, moving at night. After this we saw civilization, I felt very glad because I knew that I contributed to survive

as well as contributed to our survival, I know I can also help with interesting things in the life, and even more on campus.

Since I lived these experience I learned appreciate the friendship, the nature and I developed my leadership skills, these leadership skills I know going to help me in the university life."

Plase help me with the grammar or with suggestions for do a best essay. Thanks.

Undergraduate / "I'm a salsa student" - Stanford supplement commonapp- Roommate note [4]

Hello, as I said in my previous threads Im from Colombia, therefore my first language is not english, thus my grammar is so so so bad! ... please be very critical with my grammar all that you can , and please tell me if the subject of the note for my roommate is good or if I have to change the subject or issue completly.

Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate - and us - know you better.Here is:

"I'm a salsa student; actually, I come from the capitol world of Salsa, Cali-Colombia, so I can teach you the Salsa Caleńa. I Love read, cook, walk through nature, ride bicycle and I'm a caretaker of nature I can`t stand pollution, and things which are against the nature, I love meet people around the world, I'm member of a community world called CouchSurging.org where our objective is show, guide and help the travelers that come to our city, I've been accommodating some people around the world in my house, sharing a lot of things like foods, languages, cultures, dances, etc and learning things about their tastes, for example I already know that people from Europe doesn't like chocolate with cheese, but in my country we love it as breakfast thus I don't offer them choclate with cheese in the breakfast when they are staying in my house. For that I'm easygoing with people that has other cultures different than mine, thus I'm sure that you and I will have a great experience in our room.

I'm a person that like take challenges in my life, I like do different things each day, I think that the stuff that we have in our room reveals our personality, for example if you see my actual room you'd see things about nature, awards, nature's picture and lot of things that will reveals you that I'm member of a Scout's Association.

We could do extreme sports, I love it. As I told you I like take challenges, and the extreme sports are for me, for you too?

I'm anxious to meet you for do things as cooking the typical food from your country, and from my country, for you can teach me things about your culture, your language and your tastes.

I'll be more than your roommate; I'm dispose to be your friend, your trust person. I'm sure that you and I will have a good relationship."

Thanks a lot in advance.