Writing Feedback / living in a house compared with in an apartment; 'scarce land resources' [3]

please revise my ielts essay and give me your advise, I really need it to improve my writing skill. thank you very much!

Some people prefer to live in a house, while others feel that there are more advantages to living in a apartment. Are there more advantages than disadvantages of living in a house compared with in an apartment?

In major cities, people can choose the types of accommodation depends on their own conditions and favorites. Some people prefer to living in a house, while others like apartments more than houses.

There are numerous advantages of living in an apartment, so many people think it is a good choice for accommodation. Firstly, apartments make some individuals live a simple life. For instance, people who live in an apartment do not take care to clean the staircase and yard, and there is no need to trim the lawn as well. Secondly, as we all know, apartments are more secure than houses. There are alarms and 24-hours video surveillance in apartments, and people who go on vacation just have one key and lock to take care. Finally, living in an apartment can afford people a sense of community. For me, I am living in a multistory apartment and always communicate with my neighbors about work, cooking and current affairs. Usually, I take part in recreational activities organized by our community and share other inhabitants with the joy of interaction.

Granted, living in a house also has several merits. For example, the house can offer people much more spacious room and give them a sense of possession. For children, they have better opportunities to go outside to enjoy the natural sunshine and fresh air. Most importantly, people who live in houses can enjoy the peaceful circumstance and would not be disturbed by conflicts between them and their neighbors.

In conclusion, I must say both options can be good or bad, depending on people's own considerations. But for myself, I assert that the apartment is a better choice for me, especially nowadays the land resources are scarce and the increasing number of world people.

Writing Feedback / ielts essay: what is happiness? I still do not find the answer [2]

Hi guys, please help me revise my ielts essay,all comments and corrections will be appreciate, thank you in advance!
PS: I always feel unnatural about my writing but donot know how to improve it .

the essay:

Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?
_________________________________________________________________ _____ ____________
Undoubtedly, happiness is the most important part in our lives. But if you ask different individuals what is happiness, there are absolutely a wide variety of answers you would hear. It is difficult to define happiness because it means different things to different people.

Usually, happiness can be described as a feeling of pleasure or enjoyment, some people think that whenever and wherever they would be involved with happiness if they feel happy. For plenty of people, families mainly contribute to their pleasure and satisfying lives. They enjoy spending times with family and friends, in the meantime getting more fun in return. Families considered as the root of their happiness can strengthen them and make them become happy persons. In addition, hobbies, sports and games can be serve as a source of fun and enjoyment, these offer people lots of exciting moments.

Comparatively, some people see money as a source of happiness while other people define happiness as something deeper. It is clear that money is the important thing in our lives, but some people are totally addicted to money. Except money, no other things can make them happy. Maybe some of them can get the happiness they wanted , unfortunately most of these moneygrubbers are unhappy and died alone. By contrast, some people define happiness as giving and they come alive by helping other people. They need to feel that they are doing something useful with their lives and other people, concentrating on giving and helping can afford them this feeling and also help themselves achieve happiness.

Moreover, some people get a sense of achievement from their work, and others find happiness in bringing up their children. I am sure that the people who hold their happiness are fortunate, no matter what kind of the happiness is. Finally, what is happiness? I still do not find the answer, but I can say when you feel happy, happiness is just around the corner.

Johnny Zhang

Graduate / Ielts essay :technology that widen the gap between rich and poor ? [2]

Hi guys I really need your help,please give me your suggestions and corrections as possible as needed , thanks in advance everyone !

Some people believe that the range of technology available to individuals today is increasing the gap between rich people and poor people, while others say that technology has the opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Technology, in the past two hundred years, has taken a dramatic progress in many fields of our society, such as telecommunications, manufacturing and buildings, etc. Certainly, technologies have also contributed to the great change of our daily lives. However, today some people consider that the range of technology regarding of public has a negative effect on increasing the gap between rich and poor. Personally, I find it hard for me to agree with this opinion by the following reasons.

In the first instance, the progress of material technology leads to the sharp fall of price of a great number of products. About ten years ago, mobile phones ware very expensive for most members of my country, only a few of rich individuals have enough money to buy one. Today, mobile phones become a common one of household items, which due to the cheaper materials and better producing technologies. Thus, most members of our society can benefit from the consequences of technical advancements, especially the poor people.

Secondly, technical developments improve productivity, which help people to escape from daily chores, and invest more time and energy in studying and living a more meaningful life. With the development of Internet, we can enjoy the pleasure and conveniences which it brings about for us every day. In the past time, we had to spend a lot of time searching information and waiting for letters of our friends who lived far away from us. Nowadays, we can talk with our friends online, no matter where we are and how far between us. In addition, the Internet gives everyone access to the same information, this therefore leads to greater equality between individuals.

Undoubtedly, everything has two sides and technology is not an exception. To some extent, the gap between rich people and poor is widen by technology, because only the rich people have ability to afford the expensive high-tech products, and these products can help them to earn more in return.

Nevertheless, I think it is a limp opposition to the remarkable advantages of technology, and technology is not the root cause of the gap.

In conclusion, the good technology bringing to us is undeniable. Under proper use of technology, the human being can be benefit a lot and perpetually from the advancement of it.

Undergraduate / Ietls essay: Should bottled water be banned by governments? [2]

Hi guys,
Please give me your corrections and suggestions, all will be appreciated, Thank you very much!!!

Water is a natural resource that should always be free. Governments should ban the sale of bottled water. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Recently, more and more people drink bottled water instead of tap water, no longer an expensive item, bottled water has become a common sight worldwide and been accepted by a great number of individuals. However, different views followed, some people argue that water is a basic natural resource so governments should ban the sale of bottled water. From my own perspective, I agree with these people's statement.

Bottled water is a sort of processed water, which either has been distilled or added with some mineral elements. So for per unit volume, bottled water is usually far expensive beyond tap water. Take me for example, in the local market, per liter of tap water costs 0.006 yuan but one bottled water as 0.5 liter will cost 1 yuan, in other words, people have to pay 2 yuan for a liter of bottled water. Accordingly, in the long run, use of bottled water would cost a considerable number of money.

Bottle water is not as clean and healthy as people usually considered. The plastic bottle made of PET is harmful to people's physical health, perhaps very little by each use, while the result tends to be really severe for long term use. Especially, some people do not exactly know the damages belonging to the plastic bottle, they use one plastic bottle many times to carry water with them, which would bring them irreversible and deep hurt to their health.

Undeniably, bottled water does bring people a lot of convenience. People can take bottles of water with them to work and travel, then use it almost whenever or wherever they wanted. Besides，bottled water is easily available in most convenience-stores and commonly cheaper than the drinks sold in coffee houses. But these merits can be replaced by placing more drinking fountains in public places, which also could offer people convenience and help reduce environmental pressure.

In conclusion, bottled water is not an absolutely necessary item for our daily life, so governments can phase out it gradually by offering public drinking fountain and making more efforts to raise the quality of natural water. Meantime, members of public should also give priority to the natural and tap water, and do our bit towards protecting the environment.