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Posts by BlackCanary
Joined: Sep 18, 2010
Last Post: Sep 18, 2010
Threads: 1
Posts: 1  
From: United States of America

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BlackCanary   
Sep 18, 2010
Undergraduate / Questions about writing an essay on 'someone who has made an impact on your life' [3]

Topic: Write an essay in which you tell us about someone who has made an impact on your life and explain how and why this person is important to you.

I chose to write this essay over my mother and describe how she has shown me the importance of customs in our culture. I also wanted explain how she has modeled how to be successful in life through hard work. Does this fit within the limits of the topic? Or am I drifting into another topic- like diversity? If so, is that ok? Should I pick only one thing I have learned fromed her?

Any suggestions are greatly appreciated.
BlackCanary   
Sep 18, 2010
Writing Feedback / My shoulder and my friend - journal writing [3]

I am not great at correcting grammar but I do have a suggestion. The introduction sounds slightly off. In the first sentence '...appropriately operated' sounds awkward to me so I would change it to something like this:

I have not fully recovered from the incident yesterday. When I attempt to reach for an item, I feel a nasty pain in my shoulder.
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